The Last Nobody
by Chibi Fenrir
Summary: What if Shinji started to enjoy killing the Angels...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion, or the characters.

"Shinji!! You are messing up try to get back in sync with Asuka!!"

Unit 02's foot landed on the other half of the angel a few seconds earlier than Unit 01, who kicked the other half of the angel.

"Oh shit!! You failed!!"

A study stream of insults from Asuka was coming from his com link, as the now regenerated halves of the Angel began to run towards them, Shinji made Unit 01 draw its progressive knife.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion as Unit 01 without taking orders from anyone rushed forward and drove the prog knife into the green half's core, once in deep enough, Shinji forced Unit 01 to twist the handle of the knife, thus causing a gasping hole in the center of the core. The green half started to shake and jumped on top of Unit 01, who threw it back to the ground and stepped on the healing core, making it explode.

"…."

Not one word was spoken in the command center, everyone was staring at the screen in utter disbelief, even the orange half of the Angel looked at the blood stained prog knife in Unit 01's hands.

The silence was put to a end by an order from Misato, "…Asuka, attack the other half!!"

Asuka shook her head and focused on the orange part of the Angel, she followed Shinji's example and drew her prog knife.

The Angel took noticed of this and started to dash forward, she also rushed towards the Angel with prog knife aiming for the core. She forced the prog knife in Angel but it wasn't deep enough, as the core was beginning to heal, he went forward all of a sudden and impaled itself on the knife, causing it to crack then explode.

When the bright light cleared Asuka could see Unit 01 standing in front of her. If Unit 01 was in front of her before the explosion, that meant…

"I could have did it alone stupid Shinji, I didn't ask for _your_ help."

The pilot of Unit 01 remained silent, as both pilots prepared their Eva's to go to their cages.

"Shinji, you made a vital mistake, but if it wasn't for you quick thinking we might have been defeated, good job."

Shinji quietly gave a quick thank you, as he headed to the locker rooms to take a shower, change clothes, and then go back to Misato's apartment.

"Hey stupid!! Wait up!"

Shinji sighed as he slowed down so Asuka could catch up, other than the sound of their footsteps and soft breathing, it was complete silence, Asuka twirled her hair with one hand, while Shinji was just tired.

"Shinji, how in the hell did you mess up."

"…What?"

"We practiced the same thing over and over again, but you messed up and get patted on the damn back."

Shinji walked into the locker room and straight to the shower.

"I'm not finished with you third!!" 

 ~*~*~*~

Shinji waited on Misato to get finished with whatever the hell she was doing, glad he had some time to himself because Asuka was still in the locker room, Shinji mind started to replay the battle over in his head.

They was on the last move, the kick while in mid-air, his hands started to shake and he all of a sudden wanted to draw his prog knife, and since he wasn't focus he misjudged the kick and its timing was off.

Shinji felt scared half to death, but also, felt kind of…. pleased.

No, glad was a better word to describe it; he was glad that he missed that kick, he was glad he could now draw his prog knife. He wanted to feel blood on his hands; he wanted to have the power of the Eva under his total control.

To put it simply he wanted to kill.

He liked the way the Angel seemed to be in disbelief when he shattered its core, he just wished he could have sliced an arm or leg off, but he knew it would heal to fast.

He remembered laughing as the Angel tried to self-destruct while holding Unit 01, he was over enjoyed as Unit 01 placed its hand on the green half's arm and threw it into the ground making a huge crater. 

Shinji made Unit 01 raise its foot like it was going to step on a bug, but in this case it was an Angel's core.

This thought brought a small smile to his face, but quickly disappeared, "What the hell was I thinking."

He watched Misato walk pass and signal him to follow her, he looked over his shoulder to see a running Asuka in her school uniform.

"You were planning on leaving me!!"

"Yes, I was planning to leave you here to help clean up Unit 01.", Misato replied as she got the keys out of her pocket.

Asuka slowed her pace to be in step with Misato and Shinji, "Sarcasm gets you no where Misato."

Shinji liked before remained quiet as they all entered the car.

"So Shinji about that…mistake."

"What did you want to know Misato?"

Although driving at insane speeds, Misato looked back at Shinji while still driving, "…Why didn't you do that in the first place."

"I would have had one half down if stupid Shinji didn't get caught!!"

"Asuka, I was speaking to Sh~~

"I wasn't thinking, sorry."

"Misato look out for that damn truck!!"

Misato just happened to turn at the right moment, she turned back to watching the street while she drove, but something bothered her.

'Shinji isn't a good liar, and he does thinks things out…but that just sounded like an excuse.'

Asuka finger was beside her face again pointing at the road, "Watch out for the car!! What the hell is wrong with you Misato, I don't wont to die in a damn rusty car."

Shinji laid back, as Asuka and Misato argued, sometimes Asuka would point out a random vehicle Misato was about to hit, and the car would hit a few bumps, but beside that it was all right.

'If you can call 96 kilometers a hour all right…'

Soon enough they got to the apartment, Misato went right to the kitchen for a beer, while Asuka and Shinji went into their respected rooms.

Misato sat down at the table and started thinking rather she should put Shinji on closer inspection or not.

'Why should I, if he did a good job.' one side of Misato's brain thought.

'…But if he failed then we could of all been dead, and he is starting to act odd', the other side reasoned.

Misato sat the empty can of beer on the table, and started to walk to her room, the digital clock on the night table read, 7:34 pm., that means Shinji would be out to cook in about twenty minutes more of less.

She laid down on her bed, and decided that it would be unnecessary to put him under closer inspection, "Who would do that to somebody because they did a good job?"

'Cough the commander cough cough', thought Misato as she closed her eyes and prepared to get a quick nap before dinner.

~*~*~*~

"Why does he get all the damn credit!? Not once did some one congratulate me!!

Asuka punched the wall for the third time today; she hit it again because she didn't want to even think of nothing that had to do with the third.

"I helped defeat that damn Angel!! All they give a fuck about is their damn invincible Shinji!!

Asuka wasn't an attention freak or anything like that, she just always strived to be the best at what she do, be it school, swimming, or Eva. She always tried to be the best. No matter when, what or who was in her way, she tried to be the best.

Of course she wasn't the best in everything, but that didn't bother her that much, however this case shook her to the core. (Of her inner being of course…-_-') 

All that training, all that damn time, wasted because some boy who never happens to enter an Eva before the Angel attacked Tokyo-3.

"Damn him to hell!!"

To Asuka, the only thing Shinji was useful for was cleaning and cooking just like a…

"Fucking housebroken boy."

She wasn't intent on harming anyone but just wanted to vent her anger, before she snapped on something, or a certain pilot to be exact.

"He should be making something to eat right now anyway!!"

And with that she left her room to retrieve the third child.   

~*~*~*~

Shinji was on his bed, with SDAT in hand; Bach's classical music was gently flowing though the headphones he had on. 

"Hmmm…If I'm hungry then they might be so too."

As he prepared to get off the bed his door flew open to reveal Asuka who looked pretty angry.

"What the hell do you think you are doing!? Get in there and make me something to eat!!"

"…I'm not your slave."

Asuka was now boiling mad, if he happened to say the wrong thing then of course something not to his liking was going to happen.

"What the hell did you just say Shinji!!" Asuka marched forward until her face was just a few inches away from Shinji's.

"…You can't tell me what to do, Asuka."

To say she was mad was an understatement, and pissed off just wasn't right, what ever you could call it, she was about ready to kill Shinji with her bare hands.

Her hand lashed across Shinji's cheek, when he didn't respond she hit him again.

"Now go make my damn dinner." Satisfied Asuka began to stroll out the room until Shinji gripped her wrist.

The hand spun her around and she was now staring at Shinji who hair covered his eyes, but the thing that was most out of place was the loop sided grin on his face.

"I'm not hungry anymore Asuka…" Asuka threw a quick punch with her free hand that Shinji dodged with ease. 

"I don't give a fuck what you is let go of me!!" 

With a swift pull, Asuka was now right next to Shinji, who whispered, "How strong are you…?"

When she didn't answer Shinji twisted her wrist, "How strong are you!!" 

Shinji caught her other hand this time around, when she tried to punch him, "Don't play with me Asuka…"

With his eyes full of lust and desire, he put his leg behind Asuka and pushed her back making her trip, with his hands still around her wrist, he landed on his knees and looked down on Asuka.

When his face started to closer and closer to hers, she bought her knee to meet with his _lucky spot_. Shinji intensely let go of her hands and fell face first on the ground holding his sensitive area. 

Asuka quickly opened the door and crawled out, behind her she heard his giggles turn to grinning then his grinning turn to full blown laughter.

Forgetting hunger, Asuka ran to her room and quickly shut the door, trying to get the images of what would have happened if she never had hit him there.

'I must have just been really hungry, Shinji can't over power me.'

Asuka was surprised that the laughing didn't wake Misato up; she could still here it even though her door was close. She put two boxes in front of her door, so if Shinji tried to come in he would alert her to his presence.

She changed her clothes, and wrapped herself up tight in the covers of her bed.

'I wont tell anybody that happened…nobody at all.'

She closed her eyes trying to ignore Shinji's laughter, she put a pillow over her head and got the peace she needed to drift to sleep.

~*~*~*~

Shinji was cooking breakfast as usual and Misato downed her first beer this morning and gave her traditional "YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" (Or whatever the hell she say … = p)

Shinji sat down three plates with scrambled eggs with bacon, on the table, and put two glasses of orange juice on the table also.

"Thanks to you kicking the ass of that Angel, I have to do paperwork." Misato stated with fake anger.

"Sorry." Shinji quickly said.

They both laughed out loud not taking any notice of Asuka who just entered, when she moved her chair they both turn their attention to Asuka, who looked like she didn't get much sleep.

Misato swallowed the bacon than set her eyes on Asuka, "You don't look to good this morning."

Shinji carefully eyed Asuka with a smile, "Is something wrong Asuka?"

 Misato watched as the two children stared at each other, she decide to ease the tension, "Did you two have a lover's quarrel?"

Instead of having the usual affect of both of them blushing, Shinji would say something like 'N..No it isn't like that.'…then Asuka would say something alone the lines of 'Not with stupid' or something like that…

But that wasn't the case, Asuka continued to stare at Shinji, who simply started to laugh and walked out the door.

Misato took the direct approach and asked, "What happened between you two?"

Asuka started to eat faster, she ignored Misato's question and headed towards the bathroom.

"I asked you a question Asuka!!"

"Nothing happened!! Leave me alone!!"

She closed the door to the bathroom, and began to take her bath, she always felt at peace in the water, but her mind was in chaos.

'I'll just avoid stupid Shinji, no!! I wont be weak in front of him, I wont be weak in front of anybody!!'

She grabbed the shampoo and started to use it on her hair, 'That idiot thinks he can mock me!! I'll show him who he is messing with. I'm not scared of anything!! Especially him!!'

Asuka quickly dried her self off and changed, he grabbed her briefcase and walked out of the door.

"…I was waiting on you…"

Asuka gasped and turned around only to find Shinji behind her, who was leaning on the wall beside the door. 

"Leave me alone!!"

Asuka started to walk, with Shinji not far behind, she felt like his eyes were undressing her as she walked; she began to feel naked around him. This was truly the first time she felt this…violated.

Asuka bent over and untied her shoes and waited for Shinji to pass by, when he did, she tied her shoestrings back up, and started to walk behind him.

"So I guess you don't like being watched…do you?" Shinji asked, almost passing off as sounding innocent. 

Asuka stopped walking on the sidewalk, "Shut the hell up Shinji!!"

Shinji laughed and turned around, "What are you going to do about it, and why did you leave out the stupid?"

"I would smash you damn face into the road and watch your goofy ass get hit by a car!! And you already know you are stupid!!"

"I like the way you look when you sleep Asuka…"

'The boxes…' 

Indeed she forgot to see if they was missing or not, but if she opened the door without stepping on them then…

Asuka waited for Shinji to go around the corner before she started walking again, something wasn't right about him, she was sure.

It was like he was hiding insanity.

_____________________________________ 

Thanks for the reviews on the other stories; I'll try to improve. 

About this story, It seemed lots of people have used the idea of Shinji having a different personality or growing a backbone, in some cases insanity is to blame, and in others its an Angel, but since I don't know how common people react to losing their minds, I'll just have to make it up as I go along. 

This is one of the few stories I planned out before I started writing, the others being _The Albino Shadow _and _To Be Without Me_.

I can't spell or do I have good grammar so I depend on Microsoft word for that kind of stuff, but I am to blame for weak endings and bad plot twist and stuff of that nature. 

The main thing about this is keeping everyone in character, except Shinji of course. 

And many sorries if I got the half's of the Angel colors wrong.

Like always many thanks for reading and many many thanks for reviewing, even if they are flames please be a bit helpful.

Chibi Fenrir…LX…. o.O

PS. LX is there for no reason at all…= p


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Its in chapter one.

Author's note: I'm going to indeed change the rating, but be aware that there is very graphic violence in this fic, if you want to you should skip to the next chapter, when I write it that is…-_-' 

________________________________________________________________________

Shinji walked into the classroom and right towards his seat, Asuka who wasn't far behind him looked around the classroom before taking her seat. 

Touji and Kensuke tried to start some sort of conversation with Shinji, but he ignored them as he stared at Asuka waiting for her to glance his way.

Kensuke followed Shinji's line of vision and ended up on no other than the German devil her self, "Touji, I think our dear friend has taken a liking to the devil!!"

"He betrayed us!!"

They both faked panic, and ran around Shinji's desk with their hands in the air, they didn't stop till they both received slaps upside the head by a fuming class rep. 

"Sit down you two before I give you cleaning duties!!"

The both went to their respected seats, and quietly sat down as the class rep watched them with a very intense glare.

Shinji kept gazing at Asuka until it was obvious she wasn't going to look his way, the teacher soon came in and Hikari did the stand, bow, and sit custom.  

Rei, who like always got to school as the gate opened, looked out of the window as the old teacher went on about his life during the second impact.

To most people a window was simply a thing to look through, but to Rei a window felt like a piece of one's soul.

You can see things on the outside, you never see on the inside. 

Rei found the small insects, grass, and the weather outside the window to be more interesting than the stories about a man that gave no reason to actually listen to him.

Most people who could say that they knew Rei, really didn't, Rei isn't really shy or meek as most people label her as.

'I only lack understanding.'

Yes, although the things she experience at school, has nothing to help her fulfill her purpose, it does help her understand, things that she finds interesting.

One of the things she found most interesting, were her fellow pilots, Ikari and Soryu.

At the moment, it seemed that they were avoiding all eye contact, but one thing that had Rei's attention was the odd smile on Shinji's face.

He seemed to be thinking of something he enjoyed, he sat straight up, looking forward at the teacher who was now writing something on the board. He gave a small chuckle than began to type on the laptop on top of his desk.

She then took a swift glance at Asuka who was not paying interest to no one or nothing at all; she seemed to be in deep thought.

Rei turned attention back to the window and watched a few birds fly by in the distance.

Although she found many things fascinating, including the pilots, never make it into some sort of study.

~*~*~*~

Asuka was busy thinking, until a new message icon flashed on her laptop. She looked at the name of the sender then ignored it.

'He is not going to break me!! He can do whatever the fuck he want to, but it wont bother me' 

She even had to sever that line of thought, as three more new message icons flickered on her laptop. She gave in and opened one of them, which was the same as the others.

Where are you going to eat lunch today…^_^

She decided to return a reply that made a window open, for the IMS or instant message sender.

Leave me the hell alone!! Go play with your boyfriends!! 

You are more fun to play with…^_^

She looked up at Shinji who was staring at her with a big ass smile in her book.

Why are you acting like this stupid?

The old teacher continued to go on how hard his life was and how his family had to share a single piece of bread a day until they were found, Asuka once more glanced at Shinji who was now not smiling but had a blink look on his face. 

She was about to ask another question until the bell started to ring indicating it was time for lunch.

~*~*~*~

Shinji and Touji both sat down on the roof while eating. It was not one cloud in the sky and the sun shone down on them like the light of the moon in the darkness, once in a while a gentle breeze blew by.

"Hey Shinji, you don't want that egg roll do you?"

Shinji shook his head, and handed Touji the egg roll he was just about to eat.

Touji was still chewing his food when Kensuke ran towards them like he was being chased. 

"Some boys are messing with Hikari and they wont stop!!"

Touji chocked, Kensuke ran over and hit him on the back a few times, "Come on Touji she is in trouble!!"

Shinji, who was now whistling, got up and walked away leaving his lunch right where it was, Touji and Kensuke watch, dumbfounded as he opened the door and walked back into the school.

"Damn we need to hurry up then."

They both ran towards the small, but growing group in the middle of the hall. From where they were standing they could still hear Hikari's voice.

"Get your hands off of me!!" she pushed another one of the older boys away, like she has been doing for the last ten minutes.

"You know I like girls like you…"

"Didn't she say get the hell away from her."

Everyone turned to the lone girl standing down the hall, Asuka stood up with all her glory, she seemed to glow as she pointed at the boy standing a few feet from Hikari.

"Nobody didn't ask you nothing Queen Bitch!!"

Touji took this chance to make his presence known, "What the fuck are you doing to the Class Rep!!"

The three boys and one girl that were around Hikari started to rub their hands together, like they were getting ready to fight.

"Look we aint scared of no bitch and some jock!!"

'Shit!!' Asuka though, she promised Misato she wouldn't fight anymore and was sure that the buffs was going to be enough, she didn't want to do all that damn house work for one fight, …but her friend was in trouble.

'All I have to do is stall them for a few seconds lunch is almost over anyway'

"You bastards are planning on hitting a girl, you are more wimpy than stupid Shinji." Asuka looked around to find Shinji but he was nowhere near the group…and now that she notice it Rei was also missing.

 Kensuke was busy videotaping the exchange between Asuka, Touji and the boys. It seemed like it was about to be a fight until the bell rung. 

"Hey stooge where the hell is Shinji?" Asuka questioned Kensuke who was happy he had something else on tape.

"I refuse to answer to the demon!!" 

Asuka smirked and held up her fist, "Wrong answer."

~*~*~*~

"Hey did you see the way that chick with the pig tails looked at me?"

"Haha, Soryu was going to have your ass if you touched her."

"You must be mistaken, I would have whooped her arrogant ass!!"

The three boys walked down the hall, with the girl not far behind, towards their class, they always like to wait a while after the bell rung so they wouldn't be in all that pushing and stuff, although it wasn't that many students in the school, it was still enough to make it hard to walk when the bell rung. 

"Can you believe she called us wimps?"

They all started laughing; the tall one with black hair was the first one to recover, "Hahaha, can you believe she said we were more wimpy than Ikari!!"

"Hey what is that sound?"

The shortest boy who had long brown hair and brown eyes stopped and told the others to shut up, they could indeed hear something, they couldn't just put their finger on it until the tall guy spoke again, "It kind of sounds like whistling…"

They walked around the corner and found Shinji leaning on a wall, their class just happen to be down that hall.

"Hey wimp go tell that bitch that we are going to kick her ass later."

Shinji got off of the wall and looked at the small group, with a smile on his face.

He looked at the one who called him a wimp, a boy with dirty blond hair that was the same height he was, Shinji took a few steps forward and laughed in his face.

All Shinji could think about was blood, he wanted to see them on the floor begging for him to stop, he wanted to see a arm broken so bad that the bone stuck out of the elbow. He wanted to make them feel hurt. 

He wanted to hear screams.

The boy spit in Shinji's face.

The others surrounded the still laughing Shinji, "So big Mr. Ikari is going to show us he aint a wimp boys."

When the first punch came from the boy who spit in his face, Shinji simply moved his head to the side, because of the momentum of the punch, the blond kid nearly glided through the air only to be met with an elbow in the face. 

"Oh shit!! Oh shit!! I think this bastard broke my nose."

Blood dripped on the floor and stained the blond boy's school shirt. He looked up only to be kicked in the face by Shinji who all through this ordeal didn't stop laughing yet.

The boy fell backwards with his eyes rolling into the back of his head, the others around Shinji just started throwing misplaced punches, although they were missing, they didn't give Shinji a chance to counter attack anyone of them.

"Ikari, I'm going to kill you!! Katchi is my best friend dam nit!!"

Shinji looked at the tall one who was crying, yes he would be the next one he would hurt.

Shinji ran down the hallway, with the boys following, he turned a corner and ran into a restroom. 

The tall one and a boy with brown hair and brown eyes walked into the male's restroom.

The tall one took out his pocketknife, which he had, in his back pocket, "Look Ikari! If you come out then I wont cut you."

They heard what sounded like a zipper in one of the stalls then a flush, Shinji walked out but he wasn't laughing at all nor did he have a smile on his face, just a blank expression.

"You scared now huh, I'm going to cut your ass up now."

"…You lied."

"Yea, so what you gonna do about it Ikari."

"…Oh nothing."

"That's what I thought." 

The tall brown haired boy ran towards Shinji with the pocketknife in hand. Once he was just a few feet that annoying laughing started again.

Shinji kicked the boy so hard in the knee he dropped the knife, Shinji followed up with a punched to the stomach, which made him double over, then a elbow to the back, which made him fall on the titled floor making a splat sound. 

Shinji rolled him over and kicked him in the face; over and over till he was sure he was knocked out, Shinji looked down at the blood all over his shoe and end of his pants. 

Shinji got hit from behind and fell to the floor, landing in the blood of the person beside him, the boy jumped on top of Shinji, knocking the air out of him, the boy began to punch but Shinji got an idea bought his knee up to meet the spot between the boy's leg.

The boy's face turned a bit white and he feel on the floor beside Shinji, who was now getting to his feet. 

The boy's eyes got wide as Shinji jumped up into the air and elbowed him directly in the face. Shinji picked up the pocketknife and turned the boy over so his back was facing up, Shinji lost his smile as he carved the character for evil into the boy's back. 

Shinji got up and walked to the taller boy who he knocked out a few minutes ago, he stood on his knee and pulled his leg up until he heard the sickening crunch. 

He let go of the severely broken leg and watched as it stuck out at an odd angle.

Shinji opened the door and walked out. 

The girl who was in front of the door asked before turning around, "Did you hurt him bad Kimoshi?"

She turned around and got pushed hard on the floor, knocking her off her feet; unlike the others she crawled backward, not wanting to fight.

Shinji was enjoying himself, he was inflicting more pain then he could ever do to an Angel. No one would be calling him a wimp anymore. He loved the look of fear on people's faces and he wanted more. He forgot about the bloodshed, he forgot about the thrill of the fight but that look of pure terror was all he wanted. 

Shinji slowly took steps towards the scared and crying girl, his footsteps making a slippery sound cause of the blood he stepped in on his way out of the restroom.

She attempted to make him back off by sounding tough, "I…Ikari, I know your…your know man enough to rape me." but it came out laced with fear.

When he leaned over, she could smell the heavy scent of blood coming off of him, "Are you saying that because you want me to touch you…?"

She gasped as Shinji's hand came closer to her, she started to tremble as she waited for him to feel her chest, instead she felt a warm feeling around her hand. 

Shinji pulled her up to her feet, he laughed at the stunned look on her face and went about his way humming Beethoven's 5th Symphony.

He stopped walking and turned around, "I forgot to ask your name."

"Its Kari…"

"Oh, thanks.", and he went on humming, she waited until she couldn't hear him anymore then walked into the Male's rest room.

As Shinji gave the blond boy he was passing another kick, heard the scream from where he was standing; he took off his bloodstained shirt and put it in the nearest thrash can. 

Since his tee shirt and pants were both dark colors nobody would notice the blood unless they had a good eye or could smell him.

Shinji walked towards another restroom to clean himself up, even though the group was all talk they did land some hits. 

"I guess I'll just stay here till the final bell."

Shinji heard a lot of noise on the outside of the door so he stuck his head out to see, hordes of people was rushing to get to the place where the rest of the fighting took place.

'…I didn't mean for it to go that far…what if they find out it was me?'   

Shinji walked out of the restroom and went the opposite direction of where everyone else was going, but he was unaware of the person following him.

_____________________________________________________________________

Now that I think about it I have to change the rating to R because of the violence…o.o

This is probably going to be a pretty long story because I plan on going from the 7th Angel to the End of Evangelion…o.O 

I'll try to write and put up chapters up as quickly as possible. 

This might seem very stupid, but in the story Shinji is on the brink on being completely insane, the Shinji in this story found it easy to release build up frustration and stress on Angels, but once you feel like that, you can start to release your pent up anger on anything, thus Shinji taking pleasure in whooping up the boys, not because they were messing with Hikari, they were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. 

And when I said Asuka would beat the hell out of Shinji, it's mainly because in most cases she would already have him mentally defeated. 

 Some people may ask me to discontinue the fic because of its themes and nature, I'll just have to refuse them because, I write for self-improvement. (And I don't like to make unfinished stories…-_-')

Chibi Fenrir…^_-


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: It's in the first chapter…o.o

Shinji walked out of the school, he left his school shirt in some trashcan and was on his way home now that the last bell rung. The sky just like it was at lunchtime was cloudless and with nothing but the bright sun beaming down on him.

Shinji passed by the paramedics who came to the school a few minutes earlier, to try to help the boys Shinji beat up, much to his delight.

He looked down at the faint red stain on the tip of his shoe and laughed.

'If only I could have had more time…more time…'

Shinji would have caused much more pain, he would have done it slower, so he could hear the cries and pleas, but he just didn't have the time.

"You…"

Shinji turned around, the girl that he left in the hall way was all but marching towards him, her short black hair blew across her face as a breeze passed casing her uniform to also fumble in the wind.

'Hmm…I forgot her name…'

"Why…you didn't have to do that we were just joking…"

She raised her head, her cobalt eyes looked over Shinji who was now coming toward her with the same smile he had when he beat up the boys, "…Do you want me to make you stop crying?"

"Get the hell away from me you bastard!!"

Shinji wrapped his arms around the girl, his lips brushed across her lips, "Do you know how it feels to kill?"

Shinji hugged her tighter, "…It's the best feeling you can have…you end the future of a person or thing…you blow out a flame…"

Shinji licked her ear, "You take a life."

The smile on his face got even bigger, if possible, as Kari started to tremble, he felt the wet drops on the shoulder of his tee shirt.

'Yes, I like this…I like this feeling.'

Everyone been in control of something at least once in his or her lives, even Shinji had his few minutes of power as he controlled Unit 01, but this was as best as he could get…he wanted this girl. He wanted to use her like _they _use him.

Shinji rubbed her back as she cried, both of them stood on the sidewalk, cars passed by not taking notice, students passed by not caring, it was just the two of them.

"I..I hate you Ikari…"

"…I love you too Kari."

Shinji let go and walked away, he took a quick glance at Kari who was still standing in the same place watching him walk away.

'When will another Angel attack…?'

~*~*~*~

Asuka hated a lot of things.

Among them were dolls, being ignored, and cleaning up.

Yes, there was many more, but this was what she considered hell because it was all three things at the same time.

Asuka and Rei were on clean up duty.

"Where were you at lunchtime Wondergirl?"  Asuka picked up the rag and washed the desk, while she waited for Rei to answer.

Rei continued to wash the floor with the rag she had in her hand.

Asuka threw the rag on the floor, "Why are you ignoring me?!"

Rei stopped her doing her task, and looked up at Asuka who was now standing up with her hands on her hip, "A useless conversation is not something I would take pleasure in joining."

"This is stupid, you can do this your damn self!!" Asuka kicked over the bucket of water and stormed out of the classroom.

After a while Rei finished all of the work, on her way out she took out the trash. To some students, the school was a scary place late in the evening, the halls were dark and silent, Rei's soft footsteps made the only sound.

She passed by a few blood stained mops, the janitors used the mops to clean up the blood left around the hall, after some one supposedly came into the school and beat up the boys, Rei heard that some boy took revenge on them because of the way they treated the class rep.

'That's highly unlikely'

Although she wasn't there, she knew it wasn't a fight during lunch, and everybody knew it had to happen after class started, but it was before physical education class because that's when they heard the scream.

She forced the thoughts out of her mind, and threw the trash into the dumpster. She started to walk away, but something bright in the dumpster caught her eye, a blood covered school shirt.

She figured it must have been one of the boy's shirts, and dismissed it as she walked away from the school towards her apartment.

'The only person who wasn't in class was Ikari…'

Everybody also noticed that, but they all simply came to the conclusion that Ikari was, for a lack of a better term, 'wimpy'.

~*~*~*~

As Asuka walked into the apartment, the first thing she noticed was that one of Shinji's shoes was missing.

'Something is wrong with him, I'm sure of it!!'

She carefully made her way though the house making sure not to make Shinji aware of her arrival, she put her head to his door and didn't hear anything so she figured he must either be in the bathroom…or her room.

She accused Shinji of being a pervert the same way she called him stupid, she knew he was neither one, but if he was in her room…

"Hello Asuka, how are you today?"

Asuka didn't want to turn around and see that smile she found so damn annoying, "What have you been doing here…alone?"

"I was taking a bath and thinking about you…"

Yes, she decided she was going to beat Shinji' happy ass this time, she was going to try her best to knock at least one of his teeth out so he would stop with that smile.

She turned around to find nothing but an open bathroom door.

As soon as she walked in the door closed behind her, Shinji started laughing as he got closer and closer to the enraged Asuka.

"Are you strong Asuka…?"

The door clicked showing it was now locked, Shinji started advancing on Asuka, who was waiting for him to walk into her reaching range so she could plant her fist right in his mouth.

As soon as Shinji took a step, Asuka punched him right in the center of the face; he quickly recovered and started at Asuka.

They both looked into each other's blue eyes, a raging flame in one pair of eyes, and a dark uncertainty in the other.

Shinji pointed at Asuka and laughed, tears started to come to his eyes, as he laughed so hard. Asuka went wide-eyed, she was completely speechless, she thought he was either going to apologize or fight back, but this she didn't see coming at all.

"Asuka, I really thought you had more than that."

In a matter of seconds, it was a flurry of movement, and then Shinji was on top of her.

His hand started to caress her thigh, it then started to move father and father up then stopped, "I don't like weak people…"

He got up and unlocked the door; he rubbed his nose before leaving the room with Asuka still on her back looking up at the ceiling.

'Weak…'

'Rejected…'

Asuka sat up, pushing away the memories of her past out of her mind.

"You are not going to break me Shinji!! You hear me!!"

She ran to the kitchen where Shinji was pulling out some instant ramen, "Are you hungry Asuka?"

"Who the fuck do you think you are Shinji!! You need to cut this shit out before I hurt you!!"

She held her fist out and shook it in front of his smiling face, "Stupid Shinji I don't give a fuck what you were doing with Wondergirl at lunch time!! But if you keep this shit up I swear…."

Shinji looked her up and down a few times, and then burst out in laughter.

'First of all she thought I was with Rei, and then she threatens me! This is to funny to be true. I love it!' 

Asuka grabbed Shinji's shirt and was about to throw him onto the floor until his laughter stopped, "…Get your hands off me."

This time around Shinji's eyes were not filled with lust, not desire, but resentment.

"I thought I told you I don't like weak people…"

Asuka let go of him and slowly backed up, "Shinji…"

He seized the closest knife and walked towards Asuka, "…I don't like you, Asuka."

The steel blade glistened in the light, and Shinji had his hand firmly around the dark wooden handle.

"What would you do to stop me killing you right now?"

"…"

'Yes!! That's it…the look I wanted.'

Shinji's shadow appeared over the scared Asuka, "Are you scared now Asuka? Do you want me to stop?"

"I'm home!!" a voice shouted from the front door that could be no other than Misato.

'Shit!!'

Shinji tucked in his shirt and put the knife in his tee shirt. Misato came across the scene, and within seconds have a look of confusion on her face. "Um…what happened here?"

The smiling Shinji turned to Misato, "I was just asking Asuka what did she want for dinner."

Misato walked in and grabbed a beer, "You certainly are more happy nowadays Shinji, you must have a new hobby or something."

Shinji looked at Asuka who wasn't shaking anymore, "Yes, I have found a very interesting hobby."

Misato downed the beer in a few seconds and threw the empty can to Shinji, "You'll have to tell me about it sometime."

"As a matter of fact, I'd like to show it to you one of these days Misato."

~*~*~*~

Shinji sat on the corner of his bed, and took one more glance at the clock on his desk.

2:34 a.m.

To put it simply, Shinji couldn't get to sleep, every time he closed his eyes he could see the eyes of Kari or Asuka shaking with fear. It wasn't that it bothered him; it was that he craved for more…but he didn't know why.

During dinner, Asuka didn't say a word, and everybody simply ate their food and retired to their rooms. 

He couldn't explain why he was acting like this, was this how he really was…?

"No, I'm just doing this cause I like it…yea that's the reason."

Lying to himself wasn't working, he was starting to like to see blood, and he wanted to hear screams. He wanted to cause pain. He wanted to use people.

"I only want to hurt angels, not people, not other people…" he nearly sobbed. 

But he did, he enjoyed every second of beating those boys up, and it's very likely that one on them won't be able to walk again.

…And he wasn't treating Asuka much better, he honestly didn't want to hurt anyone…but it was so much fun.

"I'm not crazy…I'm not crazy…"

He wanted to push people to there breaking points, he wanted to see people lose their minds, he wanted to see somebody snap and he wanted to cause it.

"…I just don't want to be weak."

Yes, that was it. He was proving to himself he wasn't weak; he wouldn't let people label him as a wimp, or sissy.

He hated every single remark.

"The only reason I sent for you is because you have a purpose."

He wanted to kill his father.

"Stupid Shinji you ruined my first mission in Japan."

He wanted to tell her to shut the hell up.

"Hey look at the wimp!!"

He wanted to strangle every single classmate.

Shinji smiled, he could do those things now, he didn't care about what people thought of him, and he didn't care what people said anymore.

The young pilot got up off of his bed and walked into Asuka's room, he stood their watching her chest go up and down as she softly breathed as she slept.

"…I wonder what you are going to wear on the school trip…"

___________________________________________________________

Thanks for all the reviews; this is indeed going to be a very long story.

But I'll keep going…^_^

I was planning on going on with The Brave Coward, but I'll do this instead…o.o

'Pre'-read by El-Whacko errr…John Brown

Chibi Fenrir…^_^


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Its in chapter one, I say

Shinji through his homework on the floor, that is something he didn't understand at all, the old man would go on about the second impact but give homework about thermal expansion.

He sneaked a glance at Asuka who was swimming with Rei in the indoor pool, although Shinji was sadden that he wouldn't be able to mess with Kari on the trip, they were going to fight an Angel with easily lifted Shinji's sprits.

He looked over his choices, ask Asuka, who was doing just as bad as he was, or ask Rei.

"Ayanami! Can you help me with this homework?"

Rei said nothing as she silently exited the pool, strands of her hair stuck to her face as she walked toward Shinji who was still upset over the frustrating work.

The look in her eyes seemed to be signaling for him to ask what he needed, "It's a question about thermal expansion and I don't understand it."

Asuka watched as she floated in the pool, she knew Shinji picked Rei over her because he was still trying to play those mind games, but it didn't bother her in the least. 

To Asuka, Shinji was and still is a wimp, a creepy wimp but still a wimp. She was planning on telling Misato, but that would be another way of Shinji winning. She refused to show any kind of weakness to him. As a matter of fact she wasn't going to let him overlook her right now.

"Hey stupid!! Thermal expansion is easy, when things get hot they expand and when they get cold they condense!!"

"I still don't understand!!" Asuka slapped her forehead, how can somebody be this dense.

She got out of the pool and walked passed Rei who was about to answer Shinji's question until a red haired pilot interrupted her.

Asuka who was standing right in front of Shinji in her red and white two piece bathing wear. " Look stupid!! Take my breast for example…"

Yes she was going to toy with him this time, and with Rei here Shinji was smart enough not to do something…crazy.

"Are you saying your breast get big when it get hot and when its cold it gets small."

"If you knew that why did you make me come over here?!"

Shinji rubbed the back of his neck and gave the biggest smile Asuka probably seen, "Rei used the same example, except with wood. You can over here on your own account."

Asuka was about to hit him, was he planning she would do this, she didn't have the slightest idea, but she wasn't going to let Shinji out of all people outsmart here, no matter what mental state he was in.

"Shinji I'~~

"Ok, Ritsuko is ready!!"

Everyone turned to find Misato in the doorway, "We have discovered an Angel embryo and we have to decide what we are going to do."

"Embryo!!"

This time everyone turned their attention to Shinji who looked like he was going to snap the pencil he had in his hand in half.

"…Yea, its an embryo. Is everything alright Shinji?"

Shinji started to ball his hand into a fist over and over again, the pencil he was holding fell to the floor in pieces, Misato could tell the smile on his face was being forced.

"…Everything is alright, Misato…"

Shinji picked up the pieces of his pencil, and stacked up his papers and put them in his book, he had expected an Angel to come attacking so he could at least have a fight or stop his craving for blood, at least for not.

But no, they have to go and get an Angel embryo, no fighting or nothing, Shinji felt like he was going to explode.

~*~*~*~

Now Shinji was pissed off, they picked Asuka to do the mission, and made him a damn useless backup.

He couldn't even go into the volcano for any action.

'Now this is just plain unfair!!'

Asuka walked by him in the D type plug suit, and Shinji laughed like it wasn't going to be a tomorrow, she looked like a balloon with legs and arms.

"What the hell is so funny stupid?"

Shinji could only manage to lift his finger and point at Asuka's plug suit, he thought he was going to die laughing, tears started to build up in his face from laughing so hard.

'At least I got a laugh out of it…"

They both entered their Eva's, Shinji could barely contain himself when he seen Eva Unit's 02 D type equipment.

"Stop laughing stupid Shinji!!"

Needless to say, he didn't stop at all, even when Misato gave them their orders he couldn't stop giggling. 

The VOTL (Hell if I know, many sorries for this error) released the two Eva's and the glided to the ground, as soon as they landed Misato repeated their orders, Shinji was suppose to wait at the opening of the volcano, while Asuka dived inside to retrieve the Angel.

Unit 02 jumped into the volcano with prog knife ready, and some kind of special case for the capture of the Angel. Shinji listened as one of the tech, said her depth level as she descended into the active volcano.

Everyone got quiet as Unit 02's passed the safety level; Aoba announced that it would be T minus 11 seconds until she came into contact with the Angel.

11

10

Unit 02's armor began to crack under the pressure.

9

8

"I have spotted the Angel, I am now preparing to get it," Although no one could tell by Asuka's voice she was just as nervous as everyone else.

7

A crack started to become larger, and larger.

6

5

While Unit 02 opened the case it dropped its prog knife, "Shit, prog knife lost."

4

"Pipe line number three has broke, cutting off feed to line number three."

3

2

Unit 02 put the Angel into the case, with one second to spare, "Mission Accomplished."   

Asuka did a victory sign on her com link, Shinji sighed and laid back waiting for her to get out of the volcano. 

Everyone breathed out an air of relief, the tension was gone in a few seconds, until Aoba announced something else.

"Activity is happening within the case!!"

And sure enough it was, the Angel was growing at an alarming rate and soon broke the case. The crack in the D armor on the leg, above the knee of Unit 02, started to get wider and wider. 

"The objective is now the destruction of the Angel, Asuka take the offensive. Now!!"  

"Shit, I forgot I dropped my prog knife."

The Angel swam through the lava at high speeds and made circles around Unit 02.

"Shinji, give Asuka your prog knife!!"

Unit 01 took the knife out of its shoulder; it drew its arm back high in the air and prepared to throw it.

For a few seconds Shinji thought about what would happen if he didn't give her the knife, he would here her screams as she Angel ripped her apart, it would leave pieces of her floating in the magma only to soon melt within it. 

'Should I give it to her…?'

Unit 01 launched the knife deep into the volcano, while Asuka tried her best to stop from being eaten.

"Asuka!! The knife should be there right now!!"

Unit 02 turned to the side and caught the prog knife; she turned back to the Angel who was heading right towards her. 

She drove the progressive knife as hard as she could into what seemed to be its head, she could see the bright sparks flying off in almost every direction as she tried, without success, to cut it in half.

"It isn't working!!"

Shinji thought about the situation for a while then gave her a bit of advice, "Its in a hot environment, so maybe something could would help…"

The Angel started to swim circles around Unit 02 again, this time it seemed like it was just going to attack from a random direction, "The pipe!!" 

Ritsuko typed with lighting speed and the cooling fluid came through the ripped pipe, Unit 02 grabbed the pipe and waited for the Angel to come in for another attack.

As predicted the Angel swam towards her, with its mouth open showing off its enormous teeth. Unit 02 spun the pipe around and the fluid came out, but missed the Angel who just swam under her and damaged both pipelines 1 and 2.

"Massive damage dealt to pipeline 2 which is now off line!!"

The crack in the armor opened causing the magma to come into contact with Unit 02's leg, which didn't make the pilot feel much better.

"Damn it!!"

Unit 02 missed the Angel once again, but when it prepared to attack from the back the fluid from pipeline two got on it causing it too make a strange sound.

Asuka took the opportunity, to drive the prog knife into the Angels head, which cut through it like it wasn't anything.

The copse of the Angel started to sink, pipeline 1 was pulling the Eva up but was starting to crack under the pressure and weight of Unit 02.

"…I did it but, I'm not going to make it." the pipe lifted her up a few meters then broke. 

Asuka was not all too happy she was going to die, but at least she defeated the Angel and would be remember for that.

She continued to freefall until the Eva suddenly stopped.

"Shinji…"

Sure enough Unit 01 was in the magma pulling Unit 02 out.

Once out, the helicopters above turned back and the Eva's deactivated. Asuka wasn't happy at all, Shinji just one-upped her again, both Eva's shook as the VOTL, lifted them into the air taking them back to Nerv.

"When are you going to thank me for saving your life, Asuka?" Shinji asked as the Eva's drifted pass the clouds and birds in the evening sky.

"I don't remember asking for your help."

~*~*~*~

"Why did you put Unit 01 in danger like that Shinji!! You disobeyed my orders!!"

"…Are you saying I should have let her die?" Shinji looked up at Misato who looked down at him with an angry glare.

"You did the right thing Shinji…but the reason I make orders is to keep you all safe, what if the Angle wasn't dead, what if you dived in too much and fell in. It was to risky."

"Is all you care about is the Eva's?" 

"Don't give me that Shinji!! You know I care for both of you…its just the greater good." The angry glare was replaced with one of concern. "Shinji, Ritsuko notice something…wrong with your brain patterns, is something wrong?"

"…No, everything is alright Misato, but I'll have to refuse your offer for the hot springs, I'm going to go home and get some rest." 

Misato wasn't really as gullible as Shinji thought, she figured something was wrong and if something is wrong with the pilots she was going to find out one way or another, but for now she would just have to play it safe. 

"Ok, we'll get someone on our way back so don't worry about dinner."

Shinji started walking as Misato got in the car with Asuka, he really wasn't tired or did he need rest, he just needed time to think.

'Why did I save her?'

Yes, she was a comrade, but he really couldn't call her a friend, nor did he really like her. 

The streetlights were just turning on, as Shinji walked down the abandoned street. He really didn't understand why he put his self in harm's way to save her life.

Did he save her because he could her interesting? 

Did he do it because she was something he liked to play with?

"Its not like I can change what I did, might as well live with it. Might as well thing about something else."

Kari…she wasn't so bad to think about, Shinji knew she was scared of him, but at the same time she seemed to want to kill him, but lacked the will to do it.

Now that he thought about it, no one had the slightest idea that he beat up those boys; the only one to be released from the hospital was the boy about his height with the blond hair. 

Shinji seen him while him and Asuka was saying their goodbyes to their friends before they left on the trip.

The boy had to wear some bandages around his face, remembering that cause Shinji to break out laughing, the boy didn't even take a glance in Shinji's direction.

He got to the elevator and pressed the button to get to the tenth floor, once the doors opened Shinji walked to Misato's apartment and unlocked the door and stepped in.

"I hope I at least get to fight the next Angel."

Shinji took off his shoes and walked to his room. He jumped on his bed and decided to take a nap until Misato got back, before he laid down, he reached under his bed and pulled out his shoe.

"Damn, I could have sworn I got the blood off of it."

 On the tip of the shoe was a very faint red stain, he grabbed the rag that was on his desk and scrubbed at the stain. After a few minutes of scrubbing with nothing happening, he threw the shoe and rag on the floor. 

"I should study for that test or something."

He got up but then sat back down.

"I left my books in the car…"

____________________________________________  

Mono, I know what story you speak of, when the class went on a trip and SEELE sent somebody to kill the children or something like that, Shinji went berserk and killed the man, but the author stated that Shinji place his survival before Asuka, or something like that. 

And if you are willing to be a pre-reader for me, please put it in a review or send me an email or something…o.o

I'm going to skip to the 13th angel because that's when they story really start to get good, in my opinion. 

Oh yea, John Brown, you seem to be reading everything I write, and you also review so many thanks to you, I say…^_-

Chibi Fenrir…^_^  


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: It will forever be in chapter one.

A man sat in a dark room alone, in a matter of seconds twelve black pillars shot up into the air around the table the man sat at. 

Each one had SEELE and a number written across the front on top of a line, if you looked down you could see 'sound only' written below the line.

"Ikari, we don't like the way your son is behaving."

A folder seemed to come out of nowhere, and landed on the table. Inside the folder were reports on the 9th thru 12th Angels. 

"Your son is not in the state he should be."

"His personality is changing, and we have reason to believe you are party to the plot."

"Ikari, we will not show mercy if you attempt to backstab us."

Gendo pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose, "The third child is reacting on his own accord but I assure you I will have him back in the right mindset."

"You are planning something Ikari!!"

"Your son is thirsty for blood, is he insane?"

Gendo stood up, the pictures in the folder fell to the floor, "I have the keys to the door you want to unlock, and it wouldn't be wise for one to put one as important as myself in this situation. I will solve the problem, and put the project back into motion."

"Ikari, don't forget how easily we…dealt with the sub commander, that was just an example. We can do the same to you."

"This meeting is over, and don't forget your objective Ikari."

Fuyitsuki stepped out of the shadows, "Unit 03 is on its way here, and the test will be starting in a few hours, the Major and Dr are going to supervise it."

"I see."

The sub commander, put his hand on Ikari's shoulder, "You should have not told them off like that, SEELE is more than capable of attacking us."

"They wont have a chance without the Eva series, and by the time they figure out what is going to happen I'll already be in the process of my version of Instrumentality."

"…About Shinji, Dr. Akagi said something is indeed wrong with the boy's mental state."

"I have no need of his condition as long as he is able to pilot. If you can excuse me I have other things of more importance."

Fuyitsuki sighed, "…I'm sorry Yui."

~*~*~*~

Kensuke tapped Shinji on the shoulder for the 121st time today, "Hey can you~~

"You said the same thing over and over, I said I'll try damn it!!"

"…Oh…ok."

Shinji was starting to get mad at one of the few people he considered a friend, neither Kari or Touji has been at school for a few days, and his lust for blood was getting higher everyday. He felt like he was on the breaking point, just one more tap or annoying question and he would just snap,

"Look Kensuke, I know how you feel about Eva, but if Unit 04 is here don't you think they already have somebody to pilot it?"

"That could be reasonabl~~ 

"Have you lost your common sense?!"  Shinji through his chop sticking into his bento and walked off, he really didn't want to hurt his friend but one more damn question and he don't know what would have happened.

As he walked the halls heading towards the classroom, his cell phone started ringing, he took it out his pocket and had it next to his ear in a matter of seconds.

"Yes ma'am."

Shinji turned the opposite way and sped off towards the main door, he heard footsteps behind him and looked over his shoulder to see Asuka, who was almost directly behind him.

He opened the door and ran towards Section 2's waiting car, where Rei was already waiting in the front seat. 

"Thank you for opening the door for me stupid!!"

Shinji and Asuka both got into the back seat, and the car was doing about 123 kilometers an hour, pushing everyone in the car back into their seat, without accident they all soon arrived at Nerv.

The pilots were out of their clothes and in their plugs suits, and in their Eva's in a few minutes at the most. The VOTL transported the Eva's to the place where they were going to mount their attack.

"Where the hell is Misato?"

"The major was at Unit 04's activation test, the commander will now be in charge of this operation," Rei calmly said as she waited for the Angel to arrive. 

"This is going to take a while."

~*~*~*~

"Label Unit 03 as the 13th Angel as of now, its destruction is now our top priority."

"…But"

One cold glare from the commander sent Maya back to work. Everyone watched the massive screen that showed the possessed Unit 03 walking across the land with its arms hanging along its sides, like it didn't know how to use them.

"The pilot is still alive sir, but if we destroy the Ev, I mean Angel, then he would also die."

The commander sat like he always did with his elbows on the desk, with fingers interlaced under his nose, "I repeat, the destruction of the Angel is now out top priority."

"The Angel has come into contact with Unit 02!!"

~*~*~*~

"Shit!!"

She never seen an Angel use an AT field like that, and she didn't have much time to keep seeing it as the Eva landed on top of Unit 02, as her Eva was in the air she ejected the entry plug.

"…Damn it!!"

That was another defeat, another failure. If she weren't bust trying to tell Shinji who the pilot was she probably would have seen it coming.

Asuka sat back and waited for the rescue team to come and pick her up.

"Another failure…" 

~*~*~*~

"Unit 02 has gone silent, the pilot has successfully escaped, and the rescue team is bringing her back to HQ."

Gendo wasn't expecting Unit 02 to fall so easily but he knew he could rely on Rei to destroy the target.

"The Angel will reach Unit 00 in T minus 4!!"

~*~*~*~

Rei carefully aimed at the unsuspecting Unit 03.

'If I fire then I will harm Ikari's friend, but if I don't I would fail to protect him.'

Rei thought about the greater good, and decided to fire, but she made her decision to late, she figured that out when Unit 04 pinned Unit 00 down. 

The acid like drool came out of the Angel's mouth falling onto the blue Eva's shoulder. Her veins started to become large and painful, which were signs of bio contamination.

"Blow off the arm."

She heard the order, but was in too much pain to notice if was to her or Ms. Ibuki.

"Blow off the arm!!"

A few seconds after the yell, Rei felt like her arm has been ripped off, she screamed and held her arm whimpering as the waves of pain kept coming.

The Angel got off of the now handicapped Eva, and walked in to direction of Unit 01.

~*~*~*~

Unit 01 drew its prog knife, as its pilot started to laugh.

"You are to engage the Angel, complete destroy it."

Shinji licked his lips as the Angel came over the hill, "Yes…sir."

 The Angel stopped in front of the battle ready Unit 01, both of the massive monsters stared at each other. All of a sudden the Angel used its AT field to blast itself high into the air. Shinji quickly moved backwards but his attempt was in vain as Unit 03 fell on top of him and wrapped its hand around Unit 01's neck.

Although it was easy to see Shinji couldn't breath, he kept laughing, he forced Unit 01 to use the prog knife cutting off the Angel's hand. 

Now with one hand, Shinji could easily over power the Angel. Unit 01 drew its hand back and threw the knife right between Unit 03's eyes.

With lighting speed Unit 01 now had its hands around the Angel's neck, the Eva squeezed until it heard the neck snap then it through the now motionless Eva to the ground.

Shinji laughter got louder and louder as he ripped off the arms and legs, the blood of the stumps sprayed into the air, making a morbid rain of blood.

"Please stop!! Please stop it!!"

He ignored Maya as Unit 01 slammed its fist into the head, of the Angel making nothing but a pile of blood and what seemed to be bones and brains. Unit 01 smashed its other fist into the chest of Unit 03, pulling out random organs until it got to what seemed to be the core, Unit 01 crushed it and continued its digging.

"That is all that is needed pilot."

Shinji who was enjoying every bit of this was not going to let his father spoil his fun, "Shut the hell up you bastard!!"

Unit 01 held the entry plug in its hands, it set the plug on the ground and slowly got up.

Shinji watched as the VTOL came to pick his Eva up, as he got hooked up to the VTOL, Shinji looked down at the entry plug, laughed, and then stepped on it. 

~*~*~*~

The door to Gendo's office burst open, and an enraged Shinji walked in.

"I didn't call on you third child."

Shinji near the door way with a blank look on his face, "…You didn't tell me he was the pilot…"

"I said I didn't call on you third child, I am not going to stand for your insubordination."

Shinji walked toward the commander who seemed to not be paying total attention to him, "…You didn't tell me he was the pilot."

Shinji raised the gun he took from Misato's jacket, "I'm going to kill you!! I swear I am!!"

Three shots were fired.

No more. 

No less.  

Shinji looked down at the two bullet holes in his arm, "…You shot me…"

Gendo put his gun back into his pocket and pressed the button for security, Shinji dropped the gun, and it made a single sound that echoed though Gendo's whole office.

Shinji tried applied pressure, but he couldn't do it to both arms at one time, as the Section 2 agent stormed into the room, Gendo calmly spoke, "I didn't do anything, you and only you killed the pilot. Place him in the detention cell."

As they dragged Shinji away, the commander pressed the button once again.

"Send the doctor up, I need a bullet removed from my shoulder."

~*~*~*~

Shinji lay on the bed looking up at the ceiling of his cell, he had no idea how long he been down here, but he knew it has at least been a few days.

Shinji rubbed his face with his left hand, because his right arm was in a cast, "I killed him…"

Only if he knew who it was, but even if did know who was the pilot it wouldn't have stopped him from ripping the Eva up like that.

He killed his best friend, just because it was fun…

Shinji turned over so he could lie on his stomach, "I can't believe that bastard shot me…"

Ritsuko said he was lucky both of them didn't hit the bone or they would have needed to amputate his forearm.

It wasn't the pain that bothered him, it was just the fact that his father shot him, and then went back to his work like it was nothing.

Shinji's arm would be back to normal in a few weeks but he couldn't say the same about Touji…

He was gone now, and he could never come back, and it was his fault. All he had to do was leave the plug on the ground, but he stepped on it.

His best friend gone just for a few minutes of pleasure…

Shinji curled up into a ball and cried, he didn't want to be strong anymore, he didn't want to pilot anymore, he just wanted to go somewhere and die.

'Its not like someone would care…no one…no one has came to see me.'

And that was true, Shinji has been here at least a week and one has visited him at all which greatly sadden him.

The slot in the door opened and his tray of food came through, Shinji watched as the rats pounced on the meat and rice, burying they little heads in to the food, eat as much as they could.

"…They probably aren't going to even let me go to the funereal…."

__________________________________________

 Oh I had no idea; I rarely check my email nowadays.

 The next chapter is my favorite…^_^…that's when the big things happen…o.o

Chibi Fenrir…^_-


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Of course it's still in chapter one.

Author's Note: John is my pre-reader now so send many thanks to him for making my stories better…^_-

The door opened temporally blinding Shinji, "You're free to go."

Shinji shielded his eyes from the light as he spoke, "How long have I been in here?"

"15 days."

To Shinji it seemed like he was in for months, he lost track of time the first day he was in there, he was surprised he didn't die, he had to grab as much food and drink the cup of water in one swallow before the rats came.

He knew he lost about ten pounds at the most, and his cast should be getting removed in an about one more week.

With all of that extra time, as Shinji liked to think of it, he had managed to sort out his problems and feelings…but he still liked to fight.

"Are you coming?"

Shinji walked out the door the Section 2 agent held open for him.

Shinji was dressed in the same school outfit he had on since he was put in the detention cell, yes the first thing he was going to do when he got to the apartment was take a bath.

After a while Shinji was walking the streets heading towards Misato's apartment, it was a lot of clouds in the sky and seemed like it was going to rain, despite how much his body protested, Shinji ran the rest to the apartment.

When he got on the elevator he soon discovered his running was in vain because not a single drop of rain touched the ground.

He quietly walked towards the apartment he lived in with two females; the storm clouds block the rays of the sun, causing the hall to get darker. He wasn't scared or anything it was just…

"Creepy."

He pushed the now unlocked door open and stepped in, he could tell both of them were here because he could see the two pairs of shoes to the right of him, on the floor.

Shinji really hated sneaking around, but for a reason he couldn't describe as of now, he felt so ashamed of himself. He didn't want to be seen by anyone he just wanted to go to his room and lock the door.

"So the magnificent Shinji is back."

"Goddamn it!! Don't do that Asuka."

Yes, she was one of the few people who could scare the hell out of him like that. Shinji shifted his weight onto his other leg, and held his cast with his good arm.

"I'm going to sleep, goodnight Asuka…"

Shinji started towards his room, but a certain female pilot grabbed the back of his shirt, and spun him around to face her.

"…Do you have any idea how much Hikari cried at his funeral?"

Shinji instantly knew who she meant when she said this, but he didn't put much thought into who would have been at the funeral.

He looked down at the floor as Asuka went on and on about how much Hikari cried, every word that came out her mouth made Shinji feel more and more insignificant.

"It's all your fault!!"

Shinji winched as she kept on with the verbal abuse.

"Everybody thinks of us as killers because of you!!"

Shinji pushed Asuka down and ran to his room, once in he locked the door and sat down on the bed staring at his hands.

The hands of a murderer, which had the blood of the innocent on them, no matter how much he washed or cleaned his hands, he would still be a killer.

"…A murderer."

~*~*~*~

Asuka stood outside of Shinji's room, she wasn't going to break down the door, or continue telling him what happened at the funereal.

Ritsuko called earlier to inform Misato's of Shinji release, but since Misato was sleep, Asuka answered the phone and agreed to wait for him to come.

She could hear his crying from where she was standing, she had a bit of sympathy but it was gone in a matter of seconds as she remembered her best friends tears soaking her shirt.

He deserved it.

If anything she thought the change in his personality was for the best, he stopped whining, and started defeating Angels like a pro.

Of course she didn't like it, but he was doing what he was suppose to do, but it still made her shake when she remembered the way Unit 01 jumped into the 12th Angel.

She knew Misato was going to send him to school tomorrow, so she decided to wake up early so she wouldn't be seen walking with a…killer.

~*~*~*~

Shinji rolled out of the bed, and onto the floor.

It was very odd but he always seemed to do that if he didn't eat anything the night before. He looked at the clock on top of the desk.

"5:32 am."

He prepared to lay back down until a thought stopped him dead in his tracks.

'I have to go to school.'

"Well at least, I won't have to walk with Asuka if I get up this early."

He threw the covers to the side and walked into the bathroom, took a quick shower and changed.

Shinji was hungry but making breakfast would take time and Misato and Asuka would be awake by the time he finished.

"I'll make it one day without breakfast, been doing it for the last few weeks anyway."

~*~*~*~

He found it strange that Asuka left before him, Asuka waking up early in its self was amazing, but without eating breakfast made it all the more odd.

"...She just didn't want to walk with me."

It was a light drizzle, but it didn't bother Shinji that much. The only thing on his mind was how were his classmates going to react when they say him in the classroom.

He opened the main door, and walked to his classroom, he was sure only him, Ayanami, and Asuka could be here this early.

On second thought, he decided he would get this itchy cast off, his arm would be a little sore, but at least would be able to move it easier He turned away from the door, and headed towards the restroom.

Be it a matter of luck or what not, just as Shinji stepped into the boy's restroom, the class rep turned the corner and walked into the classroom.

Shinji, with his arm now free of the cast, headed towards the classroom, the other students were now coming in and Shinji guessed it must have took about half an hour to get the cast off.

He stepped into the classroom and looked around, Rei sat in her seat looking out the window; Asuka sat in her seat whispering something to Hikari, who was staring directly at him. Kensuke was in his seat messing with his video camera, Kari was absent, and all the other students got quiet as he took his seat.

It was too silent, Shinji knew to expect any and everything when it got this quiet, that was a lesson he learned from piloting Eva.

But like always he didn't expect what was going to happen next.

Hikari stood up suddenly, knocking her desk and chair over; tears were evident on her face as she furiously wiped at her eyes trying to make the tears go away but to no avail.

"…Shinji how could you!!…How could you!!"

She ran out of the room pushing the students who were just entering out of the way.

Shinji sat in his seat, completely speechless, everyone in the class stared at him.

'Damn it!! I should have known Asuka would tell everyone.'

Shinji got up and kicked his desk over, "Why are you staring at me like that!!"

He followed Hikari's example and ran out the doorway knocking over the teacher in the process.

And he ran. Until…

"Ikari…"

He turned around to find Rei, standing behind right Shinji; her red eyes seemed to look through him.

He didn't have any idea how she moved so fast, but he pushed that in the back of his mind, he kept trying to think of something to say, but only one thing came to mind, "Ayanami…what…I mean why?"

She stepped closer towards him, and he stepped backwards, "Ikari…all you need is some medical attention."

"No!! Not you too Ayanami!!"

Shinji turned and sped off towards the door, trying to ignore the sound of Hikari's crying that plagued his mind.

To Shinji, running came as a natural reaction, in the past months he all but stopped running away but he would be dammed if he was going to stay there.

So he ran, the rain came down soaking his shirt, but he didn't care, there was no one to turn to no where to go. Who would care for him, out of all people?

'Misato…'

Yes!! She was there when he needed her, and he wasn't far from the apartment, so he headed to the place he could call home.

~*~*~*~

"Misato, I'm back."

He heard a loud groan from within the house, "Shinji why are you here so early?"

"I..I didn't feel well, so I came here to get some rest."

Misato walked out of her room, dressed in her Nerv uniform, "I'll make you something to eat, you just get your rest. Wait, what the hell happened to your cast?"

Shinji didn't like the way that sounded at all, Misato would ask him to cook and she never offered to cook, second he didn't like the way she seemed to waiting on him to get here, and Misato was always the type of person to change the subject when something bothered her.

"I cut it off…I'll be in my room."

He walked into his room and closed the door, after a few minutes, he left his room and went to see why Misato was acting so suspicious.

"Yes, he is here…No…Yea, but I don't think it would be right to treat him like that."

Shinji found Misato in the kitchen talking on the telephone, he didn't like to eavesdrop but this time he had to see what was going on.

"They're on their way…Ok…just don't hurt him."

Misato hung up the telephone, as she prepared to go to here roommate's room, she met face to face with the boy she was just about to go check up on.

"Where were you doing…?"

"Shinji I'm doing this for you, just let me take care of you this time."

"Damn it Misato, I thought I could trust you!!"

Shinji ran towards the door, but just like last time, a voice from behind stopped him.

"…Freeze Shinji."

He turned around, she couldn't be…

"…I'm sorry but I have orders, really Shinji, but I can't let you out that door."

Misato was holding Shinji at gunpoint, there weren't many things he could do in this situation, but he had to at least try to escape whoever was coming.

"Shinji, I'm not lying!! I'm doing this for you…"

They both glared at one another, Shinji could here the sirens, so he once again he did what came natural, he ran towards the door.

Click

Shinji turned around wide-eyed at Misato, who was aiming the gun at his leg.

"I swear Shinji, if I have to shoot you to keep you in this house, I'm going to do it!!"

He wasn't far from the door, but Misato was a good shot.

Shinji ran towards the door, with his shoes in hand, he opened the door and was gone in a matter of seconds.

Misato through the gun on the floor and took a seat, she always left the chamber empty at home just in case Asuka got to mad, or Shinji got to depressed.

"He doesn't trust me anymore…"

She was sure about that, if you hold somebody at gunpoint and threaten to shoot him or her, then they aren't going to be all that loving when they see you again.

"How am I going to explain this one?"

~*~*~*~

Shinji took the elevator opposite the one that the people who just exited the van got on, if he left only a few seconds later than he would have been spotted.

He slide down the wall of the elevator till he was sitting down, who could he go to now, he couldn't trust anybody at Nerv, Kensuke probably hated him, and Section 2 was looking for him at this exact moment.

The elevator doors opened and he stepped out into the storm, the rain was cold and the hail was hard, but he didn't care, right about now, half of him wanted Section 2 to catch him, but the other half wanted him to go on, looking for someone…. somewhere he could go to.

Shinji winched as the hail hit his arm, he remembered the time when all he wanted was love and somebody's affection. He tried so hard…so hard but nobody paid him any attention.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets, his left hand touched a bit of paper and he pulled it out.

"Kari…"

This was as lucky as he could get, she probably didn't care for him, but she did have somewhere to stay. He looked at the address a few more times before putting it back in his pocket and running towards her house.

~*~*~*~

A lime green house, with white trim, Shinji stood in front of the girl's house, all he had to do now was think of a way to beg her to let him in.

He gave the door a three knocks and waited for her to answer, the door flew open and revealed an angry looking Kari, only dressed in a towel.

"Ikari!! What are you doing here?"

"Look Kari, I know this might sound stupid, but I need a place to stay for a few days, that's all."

"I don't have any room, sorry."

She closed the door, well tried anyway as Shinji foot got in the door's path, "I know you live alone!! All I need is a few days."

"So you planned on raping me all along!!"

"You're taking it the wrong way damn it!! Don't be so dense, I'll pay rent whatever the hell you want, just a few days."

Shinji noticed that her eyes got slightly more evil, as she let him in, "Ok Ikari, you can stay here but let me get dressed first."

He looked around the place as the girl left out, a few pictures of Kari, and people who seemed to be her parents, and others with her and one of the boys Shinji put in the hospital a few months ago.

"She's been gone for a long time…"

"What are you waiting for me or something?"

Shinji put his hand over his chest and started to breath faster, "Don't do that!!"

"Let me show you where you will be sleeping."

She grabbed one of Shinji's arms, which just happen to be his sore one, and lead him upstairs, she opened the first door they came to and shoved him in.

The room wasn't big, but it wasn't small either, the strange thing about the room was that the bed took up 4/5 of the space.

Kari pushed Shinji on the bed and stared at him, "Did you know Yoishi had to get his leg amputated, because of the way you broke it."

Shinji sat back up and looked at Kari who seemed to be getting angrier by the second, "Katchi, is scared to look in a mirror thanks to what you did to his face."

She turned around and opened the door, "Because of the little tattoo you gave him, Kimoshi, lost to much blood…and he died."

"What are you going on about!!"

"Section 3, or 2 hell if I know, should be here about now."

"You bitch!!"

"I went to the hospital everyday…but the news was always the same."

Two men in all black suits, with sunglasses, walked into the room and were followed by a short man with an all white shit on.

"Ikari, Shinji you are to be put under arrest and put in the mental division of Nerv, as soon as possible. If you try to resist we will take action."

Shinji stood up in the bed, "I guess you have to take action."

"Do it."

The man in the white suit pulled out a gun from his inside his shirt and carefully aimed at Shinji who was charging at him.

The man pulled the trigger and the dart landed in the center of Shinji's chest.

"Tranquilizer…darts."

Shinji's vision started to get blurry and his senses started to dull, but before his hearing gave out he could recall Kari saying…

"Revenge is too sw~~

Shinji used all his strength, to force a smile, and interrupted her, "Shut up bitch…"

The Section 2 agent lifted Shinji off of the ground, "Thank you for your assistance Ms..

"No need for thanks, the bastard deserved it."

~*~*~*~

This was Shinji's first time wearing a straight jacket, and needless to say, he didn't like it at all.

It seemed like the whole world was against him, he knew that he wasn't crazy, but everyone else seemed to think otherwise.

Shinji sat down waiting for his food tray, or something, to come.

And indeed something did come.

Unit 02's head took out half off the padded room, if Shinji just happened to get tired and wanted to lie down, he would have been dead right now.

"Asuka…"

Shinji looked through the hole the Eva's head made, only to see Unit 00 running at the Angel with what seemed to be…a N2 mine.

The Angels AT field appeared and even though Rei's gave it her best, an Eva can only do so much with one arm. The Angel sliced off the arm that held the N2 mine and went on its way towards Nerv.

"Damn cheap asses, can't even sound the damn alarms!!"

Shinji ran out the opening Unit 02's head made and went into the direction of the Eva cages.

"Hey Shinji!"

There in front of Shinji, was Kaji who was watering watermelons.

"What in the hell…can't you see an Angel is attacking!!"

"Yea, but I want to di~~

"Forget it, just help me get this damn jacket off!!"

"Ok, be really still, or I might miss and blow your head off."

Shinji at the time really didn't need to hear that, but he did as he said, and stood completely still. Kaji took out his gun and shoot.

"Now help me get it off, hurry!!"

As soon as the jacket fell to the ground Shinji was off running again.

"Wait Shinji!! You forgot to hear what I had to say!"

"Tell me later!!"

Kaji slapped his forehead, "Kids these days…"

~*~*~*~

"Try it again."

"It's not accepting the command without a pilot present."

Gendo was sweating, and that meant **a lot**, Unit 01 was not taking the dummy plug, and both Units 02 and 00 was defeated.

"I'm here!!"

"Why are you here?" Gendo stared at his son, after he ordered Ritsuko to keep trying with the dummy plug.

"Look outside you cheap bastard!! Its an Angel coming this way!!", Shinji smiled as his father wiped the sweat of his forehead.

"What is your purp~"

"Look!! I don't **have **to be here, I don't **have **to save the damn world; everybody can die a lonely death for all I care."

"Prepare the entry plug for the pilot."

"…Oh yeah, I quit."

Shinji got in the entry plug with the same twisted smile he had on his face before Touji's death.

His maniacal laughter could be heard ringing throughout the Geo Front…

________________________________________________

I have the worse {is that on purpose?} spelling ever to grace this site, I say.

The only thing I really am worried about (other than my spelling and grammar…-_-') is how will this Shinji react to Kaoru.

Many thanks for reviews, and many many thanks to John Brown, my pre-reader, cause I'm too lazy to check my own work, which I find very sad…-_-'

John do you want me to keep your end notes in when I post…o.O

Chibi Fenrir


	7. Chapter 7

Chibi Fenrir was sitting in his computer chair typing the story as fast as he could, when a basketball came out of nowhere and him in the back of the head causing him to mess up and exit the unsaved program.

John Brown quickly took of his Evangelion # 01 jersey, and through it on the floor hiding it from the enraged Chibi Fenrir, who started to chase him until he slipped on what seemed to be a 9-year-old doughnut.

John laughed at him before saying, "We don't own Evangelion or the characters." 

"Come closer…"

Shinji floated through darkness, heading towards the voice he heard in the distance.

"Be near…"

It felt like he has been in this darkness forever, just floating. It was nothing at all, just him, darkness, and the familiar voice.

"I'll do my best…"

It seemed like it just suddenly appeared but it was a ball of light in front of him, he tried to touch it but it seemed to be out of his reach.

"You can't stay…you can't stay…"

Shinji stopped floating and watched as the light with farther and farther into the darkness.

"Shinji!! Just come back!!"

"Misato…"

A force pulled Shinji backwards so fast that he blacked out…

~*~*~*~

"Shinji, are you ok."

He slowly opened one of his eyes to meet with the face of a weeping, but smiling Misato. "I'm sorry Shinji…"

Shinji forced himself out of Misato's embrace, "I don't need this!!"

"W…What."

"Look at him," Shinji pointed at the commander who was watching from above, "I'm not going to let him see me like this, and I'm not going to get _this _from you!!"

Shinji walked off leaving Misato confused, "What are you going to do Shinji, leave?"

"I don't have to answer to you…uh….", Shinji stumbled and fell face first on the floor, Misato stood up and threw her jacket on the naked boy.

"Ritsuko, can you help him?"

The fake blond stopped using her laptop and walked over to Misato and prepared to take Shinji to the medical ward.

"The Third Child doesn't work for Nerv, anymore. Let him be."

Both women looked up at the commander who was speaking through the intercom system.

"…Yes sir."

Ritsuko walked back to her laptop without taking another glance at Shinji or the commander.

'Just like a damn sheep', Misato thought as she picked Shinji up and started to walk towards the medical ward. She felt the eyes of everybody on her but she didn't stop walking, although Shinji wasn't working for Nerv anymore, she was still his guardian.

'Even if he doesn't trust me anymore…"

On her way to the elevator she ran into the unshaved man she knew all to well, "What were you waiting on me or something?!"

Kaji pressed the 'up' button and waited for the doors to open, "I'll always wait on you beautiful…"

"Ahhh, I don't even know why I talk to you!!"

"So what's going to happen to Shinji?"

Misato stepped through the now open doors of the elevator with Shinji still over her shoulder, "I'm going to take him to hospital and make **sure** they take care of him."

Kaji followed her into the elevator, Kaji's playful smile disappeared now replaced with a serious look, "You know what I mean Misato…"

"I don't know…you don't think the commander will send him away do you?"

"He's not stupid Misato, Shinji's the only person who can pilot Unit 01, Ikari would have long ago gotten another pilot if he wasn't the only choice."

Misato gently laid Shinji on the floor of the elevator so she could get a few minutes of rest, "Why is he going through all of this then?"

"Ikari must have a thing about brain washing people."

"What is that suppose to mean?"

Kaji took the cigarette out of his pocket, "Don't you notice something strange about Ritsuko, and Rei? They both follow his orders without question."

The elevator door's slowly opened at Kaji's stop, "Don't let him get you Misato, and here."

Kaji tossed a disc through the closing doors then flashed Misato one of his famous smiles.

'Why does he always try to protect me thinking I don't notice…he acts even more like…'

"Misato where are we…?"

She quickly turned around surprised that Shinji was awake, "We're on our way to the hospital, are you feeling ok now?" 

"Yea, all I need is some clothes, please."

"You sure?"

"Yes!! I'm sure, anyway, is Asuka dead?"

"What!! No she's alright, we disconnected her nerve links in time."

"I see…"

And that ended the small conversation between them, the doors opened and Misato walked out with a blushing Shinji following close behind, he grabbed a hospital gown of the small tray to his right and wore the jacket over that.

"Why are we here? I told you I was ok…"

"You're just going to get a small check-up ok? It's nothing really."

~*~*~*~

'How could she be that cold…?'

Instead of a 'small check-up' she took him straight back to the mental division of Nerv, he was back in the straight jacket that he oh so hated almost faster then he could blink. But he was at least a bit glad they had one of his uniforms he could wear.

The one thing that really shocked him that he was in Unit 01 for a whole month, which he learned as he was lead down the hall by the men in the white suits.

"They can't do this to me, I don't even work here damn it!!"

A few seconds after that statement, the door to the padded cell opened to reveal two Section 2 agents.

"We are here to motivate you to work for Nerv."

Shinji sat down on the floor in front of the agents, "How do you plan to motivate me?"

"If you quit Nerv you will be killed."

Shinji laughed before forcing himself to stand up, "…And what if I want to die, what if I don't give a fuck. What are you going to do then?"

Shinji took one look at their faces and fell to the ground laughing.

Both agents stood there in utter disbelief, the Third Child has snapped. It was obvious they weren't expecting this to happen at all.

'…But if I don't pilot then, I wont be able to fight…'

"I'll do it, just give me a room in the Geo Front and let me go outside when I please."

"I will see if your demands are met, but remember you do not make the rules."

"Yeah, whatever you say."

The door closed behind them, leaving Shinji to himself again, only more time to think.

'…Is this the only reason I'm fighting, just to kill, because its fun…'

Shinji slid down the wall landing on his butt, "I'm no better than that bastard of a father…"

~*~*~*~

"I don't care about stupid Shinji!! Why are you telling me this!! I'm not his mother, I don't give a fuck about Shinji!!"

"Why are you acting like this Asuka?"

"I'm not acting Misato!! Its always Shinji that Shinji this, I don't want to hear that shit and I'm not going to visit him!"

Misato slammed her beer on the table, "What is it you have against him, what did he do to you!!"

"You should be asking him that!!

Misato grabbed her jacket off the chair, "Forget it, I'll go see hi~~

Both of their cell phones started to ring, which could only mean one thing.

~*~*~*~

"You don't have to push so hard!"

Shinji, whose jacket had long since been taken off, walked with the Section 2 agent as his unwanted company to the Eva cages. 

They made him change into his plug suit in his cell, so he was already prepared to enter the entry plug, Shinji gasped as he eyed Unit 01 which had bandages around its head, the only thing visible was the mouth and the eye.

As Shinji stood speechless in front of his Eva, somebody pushed him from behind; "Hey I already said you don't have to push me!!"

"You didn't tell me anything Third, now move out my way."

Shinji noticed the familiar voice right after that statement, "Asuka…"

"Move stupid!!"

Shinji stepped to the side and watched as Asuka passed by already dressed in her plug suit, her hair moved up and down with each step she took, the glare of determination in her eyes. She had her mind set on something and she would be **damned** if she didn't do it.

"What are you looking at pervert?!"

"You."

"Look Shinji," she turned around and pointed at him, with the glare still in her eyes, "You can watch me all you want, I don't give a fuck!! Just don't get in my way."

"…And what if I do?"

"Are you just trying to piss me off?! I'll kick your ugly ass Eva out of my way!"

She turned back around and headed towards Unit 02's entry plug, Shinji stood their looking at her until he remembered he had to enter his own Eva.

"Would she really do that…?"

~*~*~*~

"Rei, take point, Asuka will be your back up."

"What?! I'm taking point Misato, I don't care what you say!!"

"…Fine."

Unit 02 took the position holding the long-range rifle, Asuka waited for the rifle computer targeting system to take aim.

'This is my last chance, I wont be defeated…they will call me to take point from now on.'

The target signal flashed meaning it was on target.

_"This is my last chance."_

"High density beam is coming from the Angel!!"

Misato looked at the screen in front of her, the only thing she could describe the beam, as was a light, "Look out Asuka!!"

The light came down on Unit 02, who was firing wildly and completely missing the target.

Asuka looked around only to be surrounded in darkness, while what seemed to be a female voice called out to her, "Let me see…"

Her mind felt violated as memory after memory came back.

Being left behind.

Mother.

Being rejected.

Step Mother.

Being abandoned.

Father.

"…Somebody help me!! Don't make me see this!!"

A screen of some sorts came from the darkness, is showed her mother hanging from the ceiling by a rope tied around her neck.

"…Misato…"

Another screen came out of the darkness, showing her father and stepmother arguing about what they should do about Asuka. When she entered the room she heard her father agree not to keep Asuka.

"…Please somebody…help…"

Another screen popped up, showing Shinji leaving her on the bathroom floor, because he thought of her as weak.

"…Shinji…"

~*~*~*~

Unit 01 burst through the ground, the only thing to meet Shinji's eyes were the sight of the fallen Unit 02, and Unit 00, who seemed to be awaiting orders, standing just outside the light that was shinning down on the red Eva.

'It took too long to talk Misato into releasing me.'

Unit 01 ran in front of Unit 02 allowing the light to shine on him, as soon as the light hit his Eva, the entry plug disappeared replaced with darkness.

"Let me see…"

Shinji smiled, "Of course."

Screens surrounded Shinji, some showing the remains of most of the Angels, while others showed the bodies of the kids he beat up.

Shinji could have sworn he heard a gasp coming from the darkness, "More?"

The darkness faded away, leaving Shinji back in his entry plug, he looked up to find that the light was gone and the Angel seemed to be…

"Retreating…"

~*~*~*~

Gendo watched the scene play out before his eyes, he didn't expect the Major to release Unit 01, but more so, he didn't expect the Angel to try to run away.

"Rei retrieve the Lance of Longinus."

~*~*~*~

Unit 00 stood up with one foot in front of the other, the blue Eva drew its arm back and launched it into space at the retreating Angel.

The lance came into contact the Angel's AT field, which it broke through in a matter of seconds.

At the last minute, the Angel turned to the side causing the lance to miss.

"The lance has been lost…"

Everyone silently watches as the Angel went farther off into space.

"….What the hell…?"

~*~*~*~

The rain started to come down at a drizzle at first but got harder by the second, Asuka sat in the rain hugging her knees, the contamination tape around her, Shinji couldn't tell if she was crying or not but he was sure she was shaking be it from the cold or crying.

Shinji walked towards her, Asuka slowly lifted her head to see him offer a helping hand.

"…If you want my help just ask for it."

Asuka stood up, as the rain started to come down and thunder could be heard, she ignored his hand, "I don't need your help…I'm not weak."

She started to walk away but Shinji grabbed her wrist, "A long time ago, I asked you if you were strong." thunder could still be heard as the rain continued to fall, "…I knew you weren't strong Asuka…"

Asuka turned around, her hair matted to her face, "…What do you mean?"

"When I said you weren't strong, that didn't mean I thought you were weak…"

Shinji released Asuka's wrist and she walked away. He stood there in the rain dressed in his school uniform, and watched as Asuka walked away, of course he knew that she wasn't going to remain herself after what happened, but he had no idea she would change that much.

"…I'm sorry Asuka…"

He knew that wouldn't help, but as long as he said it, as long as he could say he said it, that's all that mattered to him.

'…Now I'll go give her a visit…'

~*~*~*~

Kari hated thunderstorms, they scared the living hell out of her, as she walked into her room, she could have swore that window was closed.

She switched on the light and looked around only to find nothing but an open window letting the rain and wind in. She let out the breath she was holding and went to her dresser and pulled the gun out of her drawer. You could never be too sure.

As she walked down the hall towards the bathroom she saw a door she knew she didn't open. She slowly walked into the room, with the gun at the ready.

Kari walked into the room and quickly looked around, and saw nothing but another open window.

"But the windows, can only be unlocked from the inside."

The door closed behind her causing her to drop the gun out of shock, "It could have been the wind."

'No, I'm standing in front of the window.'

She picked up the gun and prepared to twist the knob on the door, she held the knob with one hand and the gun with the other as she gradually pulled the door.

All of a sudden the door flew open knocking her to the ground, Shinji stood in the doorway with the same twisted smile he always had.

"Ikari what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

The thunder boomed as Shinji walked towards the stunned Kari, "You know I don't really blame you for that…accident. I'm sorry about your friend."

"You lying bastard!!"

She aimed the gun at Shinji, whose smile had long since left as a bit of sorrow entered his eyes, "…Shoot me if you want to, all you have to say is I was going to rape you and that you had to defend yourself…"

"I don't want to hear that shit!!"

"Do you know what I go through? I kill things. Not to protect the world or something noble like that, I kill cause I like to. After this I'm probably going to be sent to prison or something."

"Shut up Ikari!!"

She held the gun in a shaking hand as Shinji touched her hand, "Have you ever pulled the trigger on that gun? Have you ever hurt somebody so bad they couldn't look you in the eye?"

"…No."

"I changed my mind, don't shoot me. Don't dirty your hands like me."

She lowered the gun and started crying as Shinji left out the room.

"I was going to marry him Ikari…I was going to marry him."

She picked the gun back up, "No you don't understand what I go through…"

A single shot.

A single bang.

A single body fell.

"Oh shit!!"

Kari lay in a pool of her own blood, with the gun she used to commit suicide, laying by her side.

Shinji stepped backwards so he would not leave a footprint in the blood on the hardwood floor, "Kari…I can't say sorry enough…"

Shinji was affected, not because of the dead body in front of him, he was affected because her death didn't bother him at all…

He took one more look at the graphic scene in front of him," I can't say sorry enough…."

__________________________________________________________

Email me if you want to know about something, I decided to make Kari go out like that because this isn't labeled angst for no reason…-_-'

Chibi Fenrir


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion.

"Do I only have one purpose?"

Rei thought as she looked into the mirror only to see a red-eyed albino staring back at her, "My purpose is to pilot Eva Unit 00, but the reason…"

Sounds of heavy construction could be heard from the outside the small apartment, but it never bothered her. The walls of her apartment were bare allowing the cold metal to be seen to those who ever entered the apartment besides herself, which was not many.

She thought about the reason she piloted, it wasn't for herself, like Soryu, nor could it be like Shinji's reasons.

Rei sat down on her bed, the rising sun's rays went through the blinds making it seem like Rei was glowing. Instead of pondering the reason, she decided to take note of what reason was.

To the everyday person, reason is the ability to choose good or bad, or is why some people do something, but to Rei reason was almost nonexistent. When ordered she would perform the necessary task, but other than that she didn't do it unless it could assist her in piloting Eva, and in most cases it didn't.

'Something, I did out of reason.'

The only event that came to mind was when she tried to stop Shinji from running away.

"Did I do that out of reason, or because it would help me to pilot Eva?"

Yes, maybe it was to help pilot Eva, with Shinji as back up it wouldn't be as hard as it would normally, but…

On a personal level, she did care for Shinji; she often studied relationships and romance, to help her outwardly express her care for him, but none helped her.

It wasn't that she was meek or shy…she just had a hard time dealing with her…feelings.

She wanted to understand feelings such as care and sadness on her own simply so she could understand, she didn't want others opinions on the subject of emotions.

Rei stood up once again, not to question herself, but to answer the cell phone that was ringing from the other side of the room.

"Yes sir."

Yes, she now knew the answer to her problem, she would express her care by protecting him, even if he didn't notice, and she would continue to do it.

"As I promised him before…"

~*~*~*~

Asuka sat in her room lying sprawled out across the bed, in her room.

No matter how much she tried to force the memories out of her mind, the more suddenly they appeared, flashbacks, quotes, and pieces they all flashed every few minutes in her mind's eye.

So she laid there looking up at the ceiling trying to figure what Shinji found so interesting about it, she long ago gave up on trying to push the memories of her past out of her mind.

To put it simply, and for lack of a better term, she didn't give a flying fuck what when and who happened anymore.

Back in college Asuka often had to recite poems for her class, but it was one that she remembered for some reason.

Let me be left in the rain… 

_For my time has long since gone…_

_My life has long since left me…_

_I can't cry because to many a tear has already left my eye…_

_I can't see because of the sorrow that lies ahead…_

_I can't hear because of the noise created by the madness…_

_I can't speak because of the lock on my heart…_

_For I will smile as Death's scythe draws closer…_

_All I ask is that I be left outside…_

_So I can be left in the rain…_

That is exactly how she felt, no matter what she does nothing will matter she is a failure, she could see why they all gave up on her…

"I'm pitiful…"

~*~*~*~

"Why are you treating me like this? All I asked was a simple question!!"

"That's none of your concern."

Shinji stood in front of Gendo's desk, with his straight jacket on of course, with three Section 2 agents behind him, somewhere in the darkness.

"All I want to know what is Unit 01!! I seen something while I was in there."

"That is classified. I will send you back where you came from if you cannot follow orders."

Shinji walked up to the desk only to be pulled back to where he was standing by one of the agents.

"Don't change the subject!! You have to know something!!"

Gendo suddenly stood up his glasses fell to the floor, making a clatter, which echoed, throughout the office, "Third Child, I have made it clear that I will not tolerate your insubornation." the commander calmly stated.

The agents holding Shinji released him, "If you don't tell me I refuse to get into that Eva!! Look at Asuka she isn't even willing to fight, are you going to let Rei and Asuka get killed because you want tell me something I want to know!!"

"They are expendable."

"…Huh?" That one caught Shinji completely off guard, he never thought of himself or them, as expendable, they went out their risking their lives and this…man labels them as expendable.

Shinji shook the hands of the agents off his shoulders, "You bastard!!"

The younger Ikari tried to step back up in front of the desk until a hand came and pulled him back, "Why does it always end up like this?!"

"It's this way because you want it this way Third Child."

"I'm going to spit on your grave and if I wasn't so far back I'd spit in your face!!"

They both glared each other, one enraged, the other calm.

The standoff probably would have been much longer if the alarms didn't go off, "Take the him to the cages."

The Section 2 agents dragged Shinji away, who didn't make no attempt to escape, "I swear one day…"

~*~*~*~

"The 16th Angel, has been spotted, and is heading in our direction."

Misato eyed the hovering Angel who seemed to be a linked golden chain that was spinning, but being wise from experience, she knew not to underestimate because of the appearance.

"Sortie Unit 00!!"

The cerulean Eva broke through the ground, and glanced around. The Angel was right above her; abruptly it broke its link and went straight for Unit 00.

Unit 00 fired the positron rifle at point blank at the Angel inflicting not even a scratch, the Eva grabbed the thin Angel with one hand and tried again firing at point blank but the Angel never even twitched.

"Bio contamination detected!!"

To everyone's horror the end of the Angel started to enter Unit 00's abdomen, but the thing that really shocked everyone was the dot in the sky.

"Another Angel is detected!!"

"Oh Shit!!" Misato didn't care if that was unprofessional or not but that was the best thing to describe the situation.

"Send Unit 02 out now!! Rei, try to hold on until Asuka gets to you!!"

The ground opened up the allow the transport to take the scarlet Eva to the surface, once their it didn't move.

"Asuka move out!! What are you waiting for?!"

Misato looked at the screen to view the entry plug to Unit 02, a single girl sat in the seat, her once lively shimmering hair now dull and lifeless, hey attractive sky blue eyes once full of hope and determination, now seemed lost and vulnerable. She gripped the controls so tight it seemed her knuckles were going to burst through the plug suit.

"…It wont move."

"High energy beam is en route for Unit 02!!"

Misato almost wanted to scream, everything was going wrong, this was not going to go how she liked it but she would still have to do her best, "Maya, make the transport take her down hurry!!"

Rei screamed, drawing attention back to the falling Unit 00, which the Angel was still entering.

The bright light came down on Asuka, all she could here was her own screams her own nightmares resurfacing. She sunk back into the darkness, her own blood chilling screams directed at her.

All her insults, all her yells, all her nightmares, and every negative thing she could even think of was attacking her from the darkness.

"The light is causing machinery to malfunction, Unit 02 is stuck!!"

Misato could hear Asuka's pleas for help and Rei's screams. She now knew this was hell.

She hugged the cross as she prayed for the first time since the second impact.

"Sortie Unit 01!!"

The purple demon broke through the ground, but what the pilot seen would haunt him till his death.

Unit 00 was on the ground face up trying to stop the Angel from going any further into the Eva, but it wasn't working, Shinji took one more glimpse at Unit 00 who drew the prog knife and started to hack at the Angel, and not causing any damage at all.

No…it wasn't working at all.

He turned to Unit 02 who was still standing straight up in the transporter, because the locks have yet to be released. The bright light rained down on the Eva, which seemed to be in suspended animation, completely motionless.

"What to do Misato!!"

It was either Asuka or Rei, one wasn't going to make it and the other would.

"…I don't know…"

Shinji chocked on the LCL causing a bubble to come out his mouth, "What the hell are you talking about Misato!! What am I suppose to do!!"

"We are sending up the prototype progressive spear."

"Shit!"

'Rei or Asuka'

He took a few glances at each Eva; sweat was beginning to from on the tip of his eyebrow but quickly dissolved in the LCL.

Unit 01 drew its prog knife and ran towards the 16th Angel, the other half of the Angel lifted what seemed to be its head and attacked the charging Unit 01, narrowly missing each time.

"Rei!! Hold on please, I'm coming!"

"…No."

Rei kept breathing hard, it seemed like her lungs were going to give out, the Angel was now 78% fused with her Eva, but strangely it was already fused with her mind.

She couldn't describe how it felt but she could tell the Angel was trying to look over her personality, and those of the people she knew.

"…Stay back…Ikari."

Shinji finally caught the Angel as it tried to attack him, glad that he broke the AT field, he started to pulled and pulled but nothing came of it, but he was speechless when he felt a tug at the other end. Unit 00 hauled the Angel towards it and squeezed it with all the strength it could muster.

He took a quick look at his com link at Asuka's who was shaking with fear and then at Rei's, which had big red numbers on it, meaning that…

Unit 01 ran for all it was worth, Unit 00 was an arm's length away when it exploded sending Unit 01 a few miles into the air. Shinji ignored the burning feeling on the right side of his body and managed to force Unit 01 to its feet. The half melted Unit 01 walked to the remains of Unit 00, which was just a hand.

"Just a hand…"

Most of the armor on the Eva was dripping off as Unit 01 walked towards the progressive spear. Commutations down, life-support offline, LCL filters malfunctioning.

The entire right side of his body was useless, arm, leg, eye, you name it and it was useless, it felt like he fell in some lava, and survived.

The second Unit 01 picked up the spear the 15th turned its attack on him, right before the light came into contact with him he through the spear, hoping it would hit its mark or the world would surely end.

All Shinji could see was the light completely overtake Unit 01…

The next thing he knew he was in the same darkness he was when the 15th attacked last time, but it was something different.

Screams and yells came out of nowhere, blood spatter and bodies of the dead appeared out of nowhere. Shinji called out for somebody…any body that could help him, but no one came.

Dead bodies started to fall all around the blood now covered Shinji, "Somebody…"

Shinji managed to blink a few times before he passed out.

~*~*~*~

"…Shinji…"

"Wake up…"

The person shook the boy lying in the hospital with bandages around his small frame, "…What happened?"

"Asuka slipped into a coma, Unit 01 requires massive repair, and Rei…"

"She's dead…isn't she?"

Misato decided to take it the soft way around, "We just haven't found her yet…"

"…The Angel?"

"Yea, you hit it, but it fell to the earth. Most of it got burned up in the atmosphere, but when it landed it took out a good piece of Tokyo-3. About half of the people in the city died…"

Misato walked to the side of the hospital bed and touched Shinji's hand, which he snatched away on contact, "I'm going home Shinji…if you need anything the~~"

"I don't need anything!! I don't need anyone!!"

"…Ok", The Major took one more look at the temporary bedridden Shinji, and walked out the room, "I'm leaving, they might show the new pilot in."

Shinji rested his head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling, it felt so different to be able to only see out of one eye. It felt like it was a war in his mind, and he felt every missile explode, every gunshot, and every human scream. Compared to last time the first time the 15th Angel attacked was a joke.

…And he just went through it for six minutes; Asuka went through it more than forty.

"Maybe that's the reason she went into a coma, it's mostly my fault anyway."

"You can't blame yourself because you didn't know who to save, we all have all faults."

Shinji slowly turned his head to see the gray haired boy who strangely also had red eyes.

"I'm the replacement pilot for Unit 02, Kaoru Nagisa." 

Shinji stared at the smiling boy with a look of awe, how anybody could smile at this place was beyond him, at the same time a thought hit home in the war that was his mind.

"…We really are expendable…"

__________________________________________________

I made up that poem, the name of it is…Good Luck Death

Really, I made it up..._, You have to beLIEme…._'

But for real that poem is mine, and I have all rights to it….^_-

Sorry, I keep setting deadlines but these children always mess me up, did you know I had the fight just how I wanted it, I mean near perfect, and my cousin pulled the plug out the wall causing my computer to shut down, and making me have to rewrite the unsaved chapter for the 6th time…_

Chibi Fenrir


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Its still in the first chapter.

Love…

Nowadays it's a word used to common and freely, instead of a like it's a love, instead of a care it's a love, but what if love was said just to make the statement dive deeper into ones mine, would hate have the same effect if used in the statement?

This was the problem one Shinji Ikari was trying to figure out, as his Eva held the 17th angel in its hand.

In his search for affection he found nothing, yet in his search for blood he finds friendship.

Wait, not friendship, only betrayal…and if he wanted blood all he had to do was think about making a fist…

"…You are trying to make me the murderer I already am…"

The light around the Angel in his grasp died down, showing the features of a boy no older than the pilot of Unit 01, "I'm not trying to make you kill me Shinji!! I'm giving you another chance…you deserve another chance."

Shinji looked at the Angel in the Eva's hand with resentment, how could he of all people deserve another chance, a murderer, a bastard, a killer, a pervert, a idiot…he was all those things.

The blue-eyed pilot grinned, "You even said you loved me…"

"Love is many a thing, it's a mother's love, a sister's love, a friend's love, and there are many other kinds…that is the reason."

They Angel looked up at the head of the monster called Unit 01, "Everyone deserves to be loved."

The blue-eyed pilot grinning turned to out right laughter, he raised his hand in front of his face and looked at the impression of a body in it, he slowly squeezed all the while taking pleasure in the sounds of blood spatter he could hear.

The LCL disappeared.

The entry plug was gone.

It was just him and the sound of blood falling to the ground, which he greatly enjoyed. He was in his own little world the voices coming over the intercom was all but ignored, the mess of blood and bones in his hand was dropped the floor making a strange sound snapping Shinji out of his few seconds of pleasure. 

"…Shinji?" a female voice whispered

The young boy took a quick glance at his com-link at Misato who seemed like she was about to burst into tears, "…You can come back to the cages now…" she said quietly, while rubbing her eyes.

The shimmer in Misato's eye caught Shinji's attention, he **never ever** seen Misato cry…but everyone has a weakness.

"Misato, is something wrong?" Shinji asked innocently as if nothing had ever happened, but the innocence was shattered by the Unit 01 standing tall with blood covering its hand and still running down its forearm.

"No…nothing…"

With Kaoru's death all but forgotten, but Misato's attitude still in mind, Shinji ejected the entry plug and waited for it to descend to the ground below.

As he waited he could only think, what would have happened if he let Kaoru come into contact with the…thing on the cross. One weird thing he noticed was that the masked seemed to frown on Unit 01, but he brushed it off and saved it to think about for another day…

~*~*~*~

Shinji sat in the same seat closest to the hospital bed; Asuka didn't get any better since the accident. The young boy listened as the life support beeped like it did every few seconds.

"Did I do this to you…?"

He half expected the girl to shout back a response, but the only reply that came back was the beep of the life support system. 

Shinji leaned closer to the bed looking over her face, "…Would you hate me...."

The boy lay back in the chair, "Ha, you already do."

 Every since Ritsuko 'showed' him most of the secrets of Nerv, Shinji stayed the hell away from Rei; he could even remember the day he found out the bandages were hiding nothing.

But he made one thing clear in his mind, Rei wasn't his mother, king bastard created her using his mother's DNA, to make her look like Yui Ikari, and another thing Shinji found interesting was that Rei was a majority of Angel's cell's which combined with the human ones.

… Rei wasn't a monster.

…Rei wasn't a human 

But that didn't mean he should ignore her, Shinji turned his head to looked at Asuka, "Just another thing to add to my list huh?"

He really wished she would just jump out of the bed and called him a pervert for sitting there, he would give almost anything to see Rei blush.

Shinji sat with his head in his hands, he felt so lonely…

Friends gone…

No family…

Almost nothing…

He took another look at the female beside him, "…Did you like your family?"

The young boy let out a nervous laugh as he started to get up; he really thought she was going to answer for one reason or another. He bought his chair closer and rested his head on the hospital bed next to Asuka's hand, "I can at least talk to you right…?"

A hand landed on his head and Shinji sat up faster than lighting, "Asuka!!"

He turned looking around the room only to let his eyes fall on the sight of Misato leaning on the wall behind him, "…I didn't mean to scare you but…I learned some things about Nerv."

Shinji took a closer look at Misato who still had that strange glimmer in her eye, "Misato what's wrong?"

She turned her back to him and started to exit the room, "…Nothing…I'm glad you told her how you feel…"

Shinji looked at Misato for a few seconds then back at Asuka, "No!! You have the wrong idea!!"

"Come on, you need to see this…"

~*~*~*~

The apartment seemed lifeless, the trash was in piles in the corners, food and sodas alike left around on the floor, but the kitchen seemed untouched, which for one reason or another made Shinji feel guilty.

Basically, it looked like who ever lived here didn't give a fuck.

Misato directed Shinji into her room next to the laptop placed on the bed, Shinji noted the way she completely avoided the telephone.

"Ok…what did you need Misato?" Shinji asked looking at the blinking light on the answering machine.

"About Nerv…"

Her voiced seemed to disappear as Kaji's voice came over the machine, Shinji gradually turned towards Misato, who seemed like she was about to break down.

~I'm sorry I couldn't say it earlier but…goodbye. ~

She screamed, her eyes distant, and voiced shaky…

Shinji backed out of the room, he did it again, and he fucked up again…

"…I'm sorry!! I swear it!!"

Misato curled up and the middle of the bed and cried, Shinji looked on as his guardian wrapped her arms around herself and openly expressed her grief.

He now knew how weak he was…

Every person he knew he hurt, everything he hated he killed.

All of this was his fault and his fault alone.

'What if's' started to come to mind.

Normally the human mind was a very complex thing, he directs the boy to react to certain situations and do certain things, of course if one were to go insane, the mind would still be put to use, but in a different way.

If one was to be put under a certain amount of stress in a certain situation, it is very likely that one would snap, and if one were to snap very important traits of living things such as the will to live would be simply forgotten.

And on this very day, a boy was put under a certain amount of stress in a certain situation.

Shinji crawled on the bed towards Misato, and rubbed her arm, when she finally raised her head, Shinji offered a smile, which look awfully twisted.

Misato sat up, and almost instantly Shinji's arms were around her waist, "Shinji…" she softly said, as the tears stated to come to a stop.

"I'm sorry…. don't hate me…I'm sorry…. don't hate me…"

Misato gasped as Shinji squeezed her waist tighter, she looked down at the pilot who was staring at her wide-eyed, she tried again to force his arms off of her but he seemed to have an iron grip.

As she tried to force his arms off again, that's when she noticed how close their faces were, almost by nature she titled her head and leaned forward to Shinji who had his eyes closed.

When her lips brushed against his, his grip eased up on her waist and his hand move higher up towards her shoulder blades. Misato placed her hand on Shinji's face and drew him closer.

The moment their lips came into contact Misato's tongue darted into his mouth, and licked at the insides, as her hands moved across his back. 

Kissing wasn't new to Shinji, but this display of affection was. For once he felt at ease as he melted into the embrace and the kiss, as Misato's tongue danced in his mouth he enjoyed every second of it, treasuring every minute. 

When the kiss broke, Misato looked at Shinji who despite the tears had a small but happy smile on his face, upon seeing that Misato leaned closer to Shinji and once more they shared a kiss.

Of the few stars in the sky, they all witness the night Misato and Shinji shared together, and on that night Shinji was reminded it is truly different kinds of love.

~*~*~*~

"Unit 01 is what?!"

"The trigger for the Third Impact."

Misato didn't take the long way around, she had to be very direct or else he wouldn't get the idea.

Shinji took another look at the laptop, showing the mystery that was Unit 01. 

"…What am I suppose to do?"

Misato stood up and hugged him, and rather tightly Shinji might add, "Destroy Unit 01…"

And how he was going to do that he had no idea, an Evangelion can survive an N2-mine so no man made weapons would work, and so blowing it up was out of the question. 

Shinji slapped himself for being such an idiot, all he had to do was destroy it while he was piloting, but that meant that he would…

"Suicide…"

It wasn't until the wet spot on his shoulder touched his neck that he noticed Misato was crying, "I'm sorry Shinji…but it's for the greater good…"

"But the Angels are gone right? We don't have to worry about the Third Impact anymore…"

Misato typed a bit on the laptop and some white strange looking Eva's showed up on the screen, "…The Eva series they are going to~

~*~*~*~

"Attack."

"Ikari turn over Unit 01, do not be a fool."

The man, like so many times before, sat at a table with his elbows on the table with hands interlaced under the nose, this was the end, it was either his plan or theirs.

In this competition it wasn't such a thing as second place.

"Ikari do you have a death wish?"

"All we request is Unit 01, or we could take it and your lives."

"Was it not you who shipped the 16th here?" Gendo stated as he watched the tall monoliths over him with sound only sketched under SELLE. 

All talking ceased, and the tension got thicker. 

"We demand you give us Unit 01, or you will die."

Gendo stood up and got ready to take his leave, "Nothing can come from death except the ending of life, to search for death is to look for nothing."

"Ikari, we will not fail."

As they faded into the shadows Gendo said his own statement under his breathe, "Neither will I…"

~*~*~*~

Shinji stood in front of Evangelion Unit 01, the monster that defeated most of the Angels, but was also unstable. 

As the boy stood in front of his Eva, he couldn't help but feel awkward, this in a very twisted sense this was to be his coffin.

…But if what Ritsuko said was true, then he just wouldn't be killing himself.

"Mother…"

No response.

And he laughed. Yea his mother probably died in the Eva, but that didn't mean that she was in the Eva. He must have been insane for real to believe what the good doctor said.

As Shinji started the long walk to the medical division of Nerv, he missed the low growl come from Unit 01.

~*~*~*~

"We finally did it boys, we made our own Eva."

Every worker threw there caps into the air as they celebrated the first Eva made in their nation. With an Eva they could finally rival Japan, even though it was only one, it was the newest edition; it even had an S2 organ.

The workers of Russia partied as the massive white Eva behind them got orders of its mission. 

Eva Unit 08, complete with the ever so goofy grin on its head, watched as the workers had their fun. 

Mission: Destroy place of construction.

As the Eva aimed its lance at the replacement S2 organ, it grinned.

__________________________________________________________     

 I'm sorry I know this chapter was crap…-_-'

: Dodges another tomato: I been writing a lot lately and believe you me school isn't easy nowadays. 

Somebody wanted to know how old I was so I'll tell you, I'm 15…^_-, I know I have the worst grammar ever witnessed…o.o

: Dodges an watermelon: I'm sorry about the Misato/Shinji thing damn it…_ if you don't like it tell me why…_

Now that I got all that stuff out of the way, I can make the ending and I promise you will like it…_

Chibi Fenrir

: As he waves at the people he gets hit directly in the back of the head by a brick:

PS. Feel free to make a lemon side story or something if you want to…$_$

Many thanks for reading and many many thanks for reviewing.

Many lots of thanks, goes to pre-reader John Brown. (Even though he is very busy at the moment…_)


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Its still in the first chapter like always.

It was his fault…

Every time he stepped into the room, every time he looked at her or Rei's face, it couldn't help but feel like he failed them both…

Shinji looked at Asuka's pale face, as the beep of the life support system continued to fill the room, the boy reached out and touched her hair, being extremely careful not to touch the tubes coming from her mouth or nose.

"Would you still think of me as a killer after I destroy Unit 01?" 

Shinji pushed the chair back to where it originally was and prepared to exit the room, but not without speaking to his fellow pilot first, "…Just know that I care…I don't like blood!! As a matter of fact I don't even like to hurt people!!" he took a few breaths and calmed himself, and lowered his voice, "…Why is it everybody else is innocent…I'm the only one with blood on my hands."

He felt like a fool, he already knew the answer to those questions, but he just lied to himself to fell better and try to shake off the feeling of guilty. 

He fought and killed because of the rush, be it angel or man, innocent or guilty, he killed just so he could see the look on their faces. Yes, the look that begged for mercy.

Shinji looked around the hospital room, every wall was white, to be more specific eggshell white.

White the color of innocence, the pure untainted color…

But for a certain boy, it was just too much, the walls seemed like they were beginning to close in on him. Like they wanted to wash him of his sins, and make everything better, or crush him because of the wrongs he committed.

He had to get out.

So he did the second thing that came to mind…he ran.

As he ran through the halls of the medical ward, Shinji thought with a bit of disgust that the first thing to come to mind was to fight. 

He ran until his heart felt like it was going to burst though his chest, he needed to return to the shadows that would welcome his darkness…he just couldn't stay in a place surrounded by innocence. 

Shinji looked at the small staircase and hid under it, holding his knees to his chest, the boy couldn't help but feel lost. 

And he felt even more lost when the alarms started to go off, making the shadows he hid in turn red one second and the black in another. 

Shinji felt something was out of place, he reached in his pockets and then the forgotten object came to mind, 'Oh shit!! I left my phone in Asuka's room…'

"I'm useless…"

When he heard footsteps approaching, he pressed his back against the wall retreating even farther into the shadows, '…Probably somebody to tell me how useless I am or something'

"The Third Child has been spotted. Yes sir." When Shinji noticed that what the men were wearing wasn't Nerv uniform, he started to get worried, and he almost completely panicked when he saw the guns they held in their hands.

The man with only a handgun stood in front of Shinji, and took aim, "…I'm sorry kid, its nothing personal."  

He fired.

Shinji couldn't express how much that hurt, the only reason he didn't get shot directly in the between the eyes was because he moved at the last moment, surprising the men, but getting gunpowder in your eye hurt in a way words couldn't describe.

"That fucking hurt!!"

"…Oh shit, these children are really demons!!"

The man who all but screamed that last statement got a bullet implanted in the side of his head, a spilt-second afterwards his eyes rolled into the back of his head and fell to the ground.

The two other men, returned fire as soon as the man fell to the floor, only for one of them to be shot directly in the eye. 

Misato ran up to the man nearest Shinji and knocked him into the wall causing him to drop his gun, "Its nothing personal…"

She pressed the trigger causing blood and brain matter to splatter on the wall.

Shinji crawled out from under the staircase still holding his eye; Misato was on his side in a matter of moments asking him if he needed help.

When he shook his head, Misato checked one of the soldiers for a radio, upon finding one on the guy who she last shot, she used it contact Nerv Headquarters. 

"We need a way to Unit 01."

/Most of the paths are cut off, you are going to have to take the car elevator then take route 31/ 

Misato gave Makato a quick thank you and her and Shinji was off.

~*~*~*~

"I'm useless…"

Depth charges were blowing up on the side of her causing the Eva to shake.

"…Why can't I die?"

…because I love you…

"…I don't want to be here…"

…I want you here…

"…Why do they all hate me…?"

…I don't…

"…Who will love me…?"

…I always will…

"I always will…"

"I ALWAYS WILL!!"

Asuka eyes snapped open, as the noticed where she was, "…My entry plug…"

The young girl screamed as another depth charge exploded causing the Eva to tremble once more, "I can't do anything…I can't pilot"

 "Let me help you….", Asuka eyes got several sizes larger as she figured out who the voice belonged to, the young girl closed her eyes as she felt her mother's comforting embrace surround her.

When she opened her eyes she was in complete control of Unit 02, at first she took a few steps…then she did a back flip, Asuka smiled as she played in her Eva despite the depth charges exploding around her. 

Unit 02 looked up at the ship above that was dropping the depth charges, using its AT field in the same was as the 13th and propelled itself upward. 

As it crashed through the ship, Unit 02 lifted both halves and used it to stop the missiles that were heading towards it. 

Tossing the ship aside, Unit 02 went on a rampage as it stepped on the soldiers and threw the tanks at the heavy artillery. 

Using her AT field, Asuka sliced the helicopters in half and watched as they fell in the lake, and she crushed the ones that didn't blow up.

Once again propelling herself into the air, by using the AT field, Asuka smiled as she felt the wind on her face even though she was in the entry plug.

She felt free.

In the distance she could see more aircrafts heading in this direction, and the seemed to be bringing…Eva's.

~*~*~*~

"Alright Shinji, the elevator is down this path."

Still holding his eye, Shinji looked around and didn't notice the soldiers until the shots were heard. 

Before Shinji could fully grasp the situation, Misato jumped in front of him. 

And like so many things times before, everything happen in a flash.

He saw the blood on the back of her jacket.

He watched as she dropped her gun and started to fall to the ground.

Shinji picked up the gun and shot.

And he kept of shooting till he heard the click.

Both of the remaining soldiers retreated leaving one of their own in a pool of his blood.

"…Shinji…the code to the elevator is 3471."

Shinji looked at Misato, who was pushing herself off the ground. Shinji stopped worrying about his eyes as he helped Misato up. 

As they moved towards the door, which was only a few feet away, Shinji tried his best to ignore the trail of blood coming from Misato.

Upon reaching the door, Misato handed Shinji her Nerv id card and waited for him to slide it across the electronic lock. Once granted access, Shinji half carried and half dragged Misato into the large room with only a single elevator.

Shinji turned his head as Misato coughed up more blood, "Shinji…remember you…have to destroy Unit 01…"

She limped to the control panel of elevator and keyed in the code and waited for it to open, "…Shinji I'll stay here and make sure no one tries to get on the elevator…"

The forced smile on her face almost made Shinji cry, he knew she was trying to make it so he could leave her here to die…he didn't want to see her like this.

The beep the elevator stopped the flood of pity for Misato that was washing over him, "…Its here Shinji…"

"Misato I'm not getting on the elevator without you."

The smile on her face disappeared and was replaced with shock as Shinji stood their staring at her.

"…Shinji…"

The boy helped her up and the both entered the elevator, Misato slumped down in the corner as the elevator started to descend.

"Shinji…I don't think…"

She trailed off, both of them knowing what she meant.

And that ended anything conversation that might have happened, after a while Shinji stepped out, dragging Misato.

For a moment he thought his mind was deceiving him, but the coldness of Misato's skin made him remember this was reality.

Shinji's frustration and anger came out in a loud angst-ridden scream.

Misato was dead.

And Unit 01 was incased in bakelite. 

It couldn't get any worse…

All of a sudden Maya' voice flowed over the intercom, "Shinji…Asuka…Asuka…is…"

When she broke down crying Shinji got the idea, for the umpteenth time in his life everything went straight to hell.

Shinji turned around and took another glance at the trapped Unit 01.

He failed without even getting a chance to try…

"…I lost…"

And so he sat there and cried, he didn't care anymore, he didn't care about the tears of blood coming from his eye, he didn't care about living and he almost didn't care about getting revenge, until Unit 01's hand burst out of the bakelite.

~*~*~*~

Hell…

It's a place where the devil rules the land as the demons torture the bad people that end up there.

…But if they were fighting angels, then of course, demons had to be worst by far.

Yes, one may have considered the Eva series to be demons, but as Unit 01 burst out of the Geo Front, he was a devil with wings.

Shinji not forgetting Misato's plea, summoned the Lance of Longinus, as the spear detached itself from the moon. Shinji started having last minute thoughts.

"…I really am going to die…"

…don't hate me, don't love me, don't touch me, don't hug me…

Shinji swore he heard voices coming from inside the entry plug but he simply dismissed it as paranoid. He could see the spear in the distance, coming forth with speeds that cough match the speed of sound.

He took a glance around only to see the remains of Unit 02 falling out the mouth of Unit 05.

"…I don't want to die!! I'm going to kill them all!!"

Shinji began to move Unit 01 but the promise he made to Misato kept him in the same position, besides it was for the…greater good.

…don't hit me, don't hurt me, don't wait, don't leave…

The pilot turned around only to see nothing but LCL. He was on the thin line between sanity and insanity and he wasn't going to let some voices make him lose it.

As Shinji waited he couldn't help but grow mad at himself for not being there for Asuka, he just wanted to rip at least a few arms off, no, he wanted to pull out the spines. 

The boy shook his head; he couldn't break his promise, even if it meant his own death…

"...I have to do this…"

Shinji tensed up when he felt arms around him and could see a cloudy figure of a woman in the LCL. He almost screamed as its hair brushed up against his ear.

…don't kill me…

The lance stopped mere centimeters away from Unit 01's neck…

As Unit 01 grabbed the spear out of mid-air, the boy in the entry plug simply started to laugh, and once again the twisted smile appeared on his face.

He laughed as the Eva's series spears bounced of his AT field, he laughed as he drove the lance through Units 7, 6, and 11 at the same time, and he laughed as he ripped Unit 9's head off and drove the lance into where the neck used to be. 

He even took the time to make a drawing on Unit 05's chest after he ripped all of its extremities off. 

Before he knew what happened he had a spear going through each of Unit 01's hands, and the remaining Eva's bite the wings as they all raised higher into the air. 

Even though the pain in his hands were so painful that the nerve ends became paralyzed, he didn't take notice to the red spots in the center of his palms or did he care about the Eva's that held onto his wings…

All he noticed was Unit 10 holding the lance of Longinus in front of his chest, what shocked him most was the way the armor fell off revealing the core of the purple Eva.

"…I'm sorry Misato."

The moment the lance came into contact with the core, Unit 01 turned into the tree of life.

Blinded by the red substance covering Unit 01's line of vision, Shinji could only cry because of his selfishness…

He may have started the beginning of the end, otherwise known as the Third Impact.

__________________________________________________________         

May sorries, I send about chapter nine, it was the worse, I even did in my opinion…-_-'

Since my pre-reader is a very busy person, I decided to look over this myself, and I may just do the same to chapter nine also.

The strange thing about this chapter was that I did it before chapter nine, and I feel that I messed up bad somewhere, but chapter 10 and 11 are my favorite chapters in the world, second only to my first story…~_~

And a quote for the wise, "Everybody is intelligent, most just lack the means to express their brilliance." ~ Chibi Fenrir


	11. Chapter 11

She felt reborn…

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion for the last time.

Many thanks to all the reviewers, all of you that read, even if you thought it was crap, and many many thanks to pre-reader John Brown.

Author's Note: I'm really sorry, believe you me, I'm writing a lot, I mean **a lot**. For a while I was thinking about only releasing fics when I finished them completely, but I depend on reviews to know if a story makes sense or not, so if I just wrote complete fic after complete fic, then I wouldn't get better in my writing…o.o

Please send downright flames by e-mail, I say. I understand that people try to help writers get better, and I even understand that some people deserved to be flamed, but I would prefer to know what I did wrong first.

And I was never good at endings anyway, so I know I'm going to hear it this time.

Rei felt as if she had just woken up and seen the world in a new light, the world wasn't just black and white, but it also had shades of great, and then there was the knowledge…but that was beside the fact, she was now complete, and she was going to help the one boy the begged for somebody's help…

And for once it wasn't the part of Yui's DNA that made her go after Shinji.

It wasn't the S2 engine in the center of her chest that made her go after Shinji.

The only thing that her choice was based on was her own free will…

Rei broke out of the Geo Front and almost immediately after that her full attention was on the morbid cross, formed by some red substance and regenerating Eva's.

"Ikari…"

Her quite voice sailed through the air causing the clouds to shift directions; she floated above the ground and went towards the tree of life with intent to draw it into herself, in order to give Shinji another chance to stop the Third Impact. 

Clearing all thoughts of the commander and SEELE out of her mind, Rei placed both hands around the tree of life, in what seemed to be a hug, she drew the tree of life closer and closer to her chest, as soon as one branch touched the whole thing was sucked into the complete Angel.

"Now your test will began…"

Rei closed her eyes as she sensed the souls rising from the earth trying to get into the tree of life, she exposed her chest letting a branch of the tree of life point out, as the souls started to flock towards the branch, Rei couldn't help but wonder if Shinji would pass Lillith's test.

~*~*~*~

Shinji sat in the middle of a room with a dim light swinging above him, around him the people he considered friends, enemies, and family. 

A red-haired pilot stepped out of the darkness and walked towards Shinji who noticed the bounce in her step, when she reach the distance she thought was acceptable, she placed both hands on her hips and looked down at Shinji who blankly started back at her.

Asuka snapped her fingers and they were in the living room of Misato's apartment. 

The girl got straight to the point, "Why do you hate me…?"

"…I never said I did…"

Asuka lowed her voiced as she whispered the next question, "…Then do you love me?"

"No."

She pushed him backwards causing him to fall out of the chair onto the floor of the apartment, as Shinji laid there on the floor, Asuka loomed over him liked a giant over a insect, "Then why did you save me…why did you protect me?!"

"…Because you are the same as me…"

"Don't compare me to you! We are nothing alike!"

Shinji got up off the ground and stood up looking Asuka directly in the eye, "I believe you are the exact opposite of what you try to make yourself, instead of being arrogant and superficial, I believe you are just an girl looking for somebody to love you…" 

Asuka turned her back to him, "…If you knew that why didn't you try to get…closer to me."

He sighed, "Asuka…you need somebody who can support you and themselves at the same time…we…it just wouldn't work out…"

Asuka stayed with her back turned towards him, "…You don't know it either it did or not…"

"Neither do you…"

Asuka turned around with tears still going down her face, "…I wanted to live like a winner or die with glory…but I didn't get shit…"

"Eva isn't everything, you should know that better than me…"

"But it was my life damn it!"

Shinji picked up the chair and sat back down, "What did you plan on doing after Eva, did you ever want to get married, and did you even want to have a real job?"

Asuka went wide-eyed, although she already got her college degree; she never put much thought into life after Eva.

"I see what you mean…"

Asuka started to walk in the opposite direction from Shinji, but stopped when he called out her name.

"…Just cause I said I didn't love you, didn't mean I didn't care…"

The lights in the apartment blacked out.

When Shinji looked around he noticed he was once again in the dark room with the single dim light around him.

The boy stopped humming and turned to face Shinji, the gray-haired angel flashed Shinji a quick smile and suddenly Shinji was in a place that overlooked the lake that was created when Unit 00 self-destructed. 

Shinji looked around for Kaoru, only to find the boy on top of a large rock. Once again Kaoru stopped his humming, "How are you doing Shinji?"

The pilot couldn't dare face him, much less look him in the eye, "…Why are we here."

Seeing that Shinji wasn't in the mood to share common cutesy, Kaoru decided to be serious, "We are here to discuss the value of life…"

Something about the way he said it made Shinji feel…uncomfortable.

"What is life to you Shinji?"

The boy rested his head on his head as he started to think, after a short while he had an answer, "Life is the essence of the soul, our life styles reflects our inner soul, and so does personality, that is what life is to me."

Kaoru picked up a rock and threw it as he listened to Shinji's answer, "To me life is simply freedom, to live and to make decisions, to learn from your mistakes, and to enjoy your advantages."

Shinji stared at the Angel waiting on him to speak which he did, "Tell me the value of life based on my point of view." 

"To you life is the most precious thing you ever seen, and you think that having free will defines life, but…

"But?"

Shinji scratched behind his ear, "But you didn't say anything about feelings, of course free will is a part of life, but so is emotions."

Kaoru started to clap, "Well said Shinji but I only have one final question. Why did you kill me?"

That one took Shinji by complete surprise, "I…well…I…"

"Did you kill me because of the others, did you want to the li…humans to live on, or did you just do it because you wanted to?"

Shinji tried to look the Angel in the eye but still couldn't bring himself to do so, "…both, you asked me to kill you…so I did."

"That's all I wanted to know, and I'm sorry for betraying you…"

Shinji knew it would be difficult to say it, but he had to anyway, "…I'm sorry for killing you."

Kaoru smiled as the scene around them started to fade away, reverting back to the darkness of the dimmed lighted room.

A man in the corner of the room pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose, he casually strolled towards his son, the dim light reflecting off his glasses in such a way, that it made it so Shinji couldn't see his eyes.

Gendo Ikari stood in front of Shinji and looked down on him, the same way he did in most of the boy's life. 

As soon as the hairs on Shinji's arm started to stand up, and he could feel the harsh cold of the A/C, he knew where he was. 

The commander's office, a place that to this day still made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. 

"Why are you here?"

Shinji sighed, he really didn't feel liking dealing with his father nor most of the others, he didn't even know if he was dead or not, "I don't know…"

For once Gendo took of his glasses; even from where Shinji was sitting he could see the rage burning within his father's eyes. The calm commander of Nerv was now shaking with rage for a reason Shinji didn't even know.

"…You caused me to lose her, for a reason you didn't even know."

Shinji almost laughed at the look on the commander's face, it almost look like he was about to cry, and when he really did notice a tear running down the side of his face, Shinji couldn't help but explode into laughter.

The younger Ikari pointed at his father, still laughing barely saying the words as his laughing caused tears of his own to roll down his face, "You act like I'm suppose to care."

Despite the tears, he stilled held the calm voice with was laced with bitterness, "Then why did you pilot?"

"I piloted because I didn't have a choice…people would die if I didn't."

"You piloted Unit 01 for your own selfish desires, you put everything else second. I know everything."

"You don't know shit about me! You wont even care if I dropped dead right now!"

Gendo put back on his glasses, "Indeed I won't, I wanted to perform a simple task, yet you even failed in that, you are useless."

Shinji stood up from the chair looking in the opposite direction of Gendo's desk, where the exit would normally be, "…I don't need to hear this…"

As the office seemed to become smaller, Shinji blinked, when his eyes opened he was back in the room sitting in the single chair in the middle of the room, but this time it was very different…

It wasn't a room, the light was gone, and it was he, the chair and Rei.

"Stop lying to yourself Shinji, you are wasting time, and that is something I detest."

Shinji leaned back in the chair being careful not to fall backwards, "How am I lying to myself."

The room appeared and the people that was once in it was back in it again, "This. This is coming from your mind, you want to be able to call Soryu a friend, you want the 17th to forgive you for his murder, you want the commander to hate you, just so you can hate him as well, and you want more than that, but I had to put it to an end, this is not assisting you at all."

"…Then what do you want me to do Rei, I'm dead anyway…"

"You have free will and you will have to use it, but first you will have to clear your mind of all thoughts, and also free yourself of problems, thus you must ask yourself."

Shinji stood up as the chair started to fade away along with the room and the people that inhabited it, "…Ask myself?"

"…Yes."

Shinji turned around completely shocked by voice that came from behind him, "…What the hell!!"

Shinji Ikari stood before Shinji Ikari, both started at each other until the both of them tried to speak at the same time, causing both to stop talking. This happened many a time, until the 'first' Shinji spoke, "…Who…What are you?"

"…I'm you and you are me, I am the Shinji Ikari of the mind, the question is what are you."

"I am Shinji Ikari!  There is only one Shinji Ikari damn it!"

The 'false' Shinji rubbed his face with both his hands, "…Wrong, it is many Shinji Ikari's. It is a Shinji in each of our minds, based on what people think of you, and what you think of yourself makes up your personality, without these Shinji's that exist in our minds, we wouldn't have a personality.

"…Are you trying to tell me you are the way I think of myself?"

"…Yes, that's pretty much it."

Shinji looked around in the darkness that surrounded them, expecting something to happen.

Nothing did happen, "That's it right, I'm suppose to be finished or something."

"…Um…not really," came the meek response from the boy, "You have to make a decision…"

Rei floated down from above as the 'other' Shinji started to fade into the darkness the same as the room, "Are you willing to die so that others can live…?"

Sacrifice.

Shinji ruffled his hair and gave out a nervous laugh, "I guess that's the only way right…?"

"Indeed, its either one way or another, its up to you. A long time ago, the commander told me that nothing could come from death, which now I find to be untrue, life and death to a certain extent are the same, for some to live others must die."

"…You didn't have to ask Rei, I wont make another stupid mistake…"

The wings on Rei's back began to grow larger and larger until they was both twice as big as her body, "Be aware that you will suffer Shinji…"

The boy let out another nervous laugh, "…My personal hell, I guessed it would have been something like that…"

The albino started to fade into the darkness the same as everything else so far, "…Farewell Shinji…"

Shinji noticed the faint reflection of light of what seemed to be drops of water, but he knew better, once again forgetting to be formal, Shinji spoke the few and maybe last words he would say to the Angel, "Goodbye Rei…"

He started at her fading presence until it was very clear that she was gone, upon her disappearance, the dim light above him came back, and the room started to take shape.

The only thing being different was that the group of no more than twenty-five people started to come closer and closer towards him.

"I hate you!"

"Why wont you die?"

"…Please die, I don't want you, I don't need you!"

Shinji, who had already accepted his fate, simply looked forward at the advancing group. When they began to lay their cold hands on him, causing the boy to lose much of the warmth he had.

He ignored the slaps.

He ignored the licks.

He ignored the touches. 

For a second a thought crossed his mind, he didn't **have **to do this, as the came to mind he pushed the mob away just for enough seconds to scream the words that echoed through out his mind in almost every Angel battle, "Let me live!!"

A hand covered his mouth, and another covered his eyes, a few more did the same to ears and nose, all of them pulling him down to the floor, the only thought on his mind before he passed out was…

'This really is my hell…'

~*~*~*~

He woke up, and was shocked to find himself floating in infinite darkness, but for some reason this darkness seemed…familiar. 

Beyond tired, the young man lifted his head, and looked around and found the one thing that made the darkness so familiar. 

The ball of bright white light rotating in the center the darkness, like the moon in the sea of darkness called the night.

"…Shinji…"

The boy who was nearly to tired to move, tried to swim in the darkness only to fail horribly, he discontinued his useless energy wasting action, and just spoke to the person who probably knew him the most, "…Is this also a part of my punishment, mother?"

Ignoring his question, the ball of light spoke, "…Please don't think of this as rejection…"

The boy stayed silent as the ball of light moved farther and farther away, just like last time and also like so many of the people he knew. Sadly, Shinji shook his head up and down, "I…I understand…"

He could here the distant voice all but whisper, "No…you will never understand…" the ball of light exploded, forcing the boy to be thrown deeper into the darkness away from the raining balls of light, or rather the raining pieces of his mothers soul…

To exhausted to cry and to weary to keep his eyes open, the boy tried to go to sleep, and for once succeeded. 

~*~*~*~

Laughing.

Madness.

Grinning.

Insanity.

Crying.

Sorrow.

Sobbing.

Sadness.

All of these were in the mind of one Shinji Ikari, each battled for superiority over the other, at times laughter would win, and others sorrow would overcome the all, but each had their time to affect the boy.

So as the boy floating on top of the LCL and started at the cloudless crimson sky, almost the same color as Rei's eyes, Shinji noted. 

He lifted his head and looked into a random direction only to set eyes on what seemed to be a beach…with a single person on it.

Shinji sighed, although it was LCL, he was still tired and even if he wasn't he couldn't swim. The boy let his head fall back into the thick LCL letting it splash as it fell back into place. 

Recalling what Rei said about the 'talks' he had with Asuka, brought a smile to his face and he could help but laugh, 'I did it because I wanted her friendship, but I was to weak to try to get it in real life…"

His eyes looked at the blazing star, which seemed to sail to the heavens above, that star was Unit 01, perhaps going to another planet, maybe another galaxy…maybe another universe.

"Didn't it have the lance with it…?"

As the boy floated farther back he could see the enormous lifeless body of Rei, lying in what used to be called Tokyo-3, he narrowed his eyes only to find out what the red object sticking out of her eye…

"…If Rei is dead…that means…~~

Hands emerged our of the LCL beside the boy dragging him down against his will, if he ever cried over anything it was nothing compared to what had just taken place…

Rei the carrier of souls, had been stuck down by Unit 01, thus destroying the souls that she held, to put it simply, Shinji was just screwed by Unit 01.

As Shinji was pulled deeper and deeper into the LCL upon talking a few swallows of the stuff he came to a very startling revelation, this wasn't LCL, and worst he couldn't breathe.

If the situation wasn't so dire, the boy would have laughed, this was his hell to have his worst fear to annihilate him, he was drowning, and it was nothing he could do about it…

The young boy took his last attempts, and then it was silence…

And like always were one tale ended another began, and this was very true for a certain female who awoke to find the body of a boy floating on the LCL.

As the screams touched the corners of the earth, a purple demon, which cruised through space, turned to the lonely planet. 

The voice inside the monster spoke, chanting a small poem she used to tell a little boy who she was so fond of…

"…When the time comes, let me die, not so new doors can opened or so old secrets can be uncovered. When the time comes, let me fall from glory, not because I don't deserve none and so I can't be remembered. When the time comes, hate me, not for the mistakes I made, but for the wrongs I have yet to right…"

The soft voice paused, taking a slight second of joy in saying the last line as the Eva went on its way deeper into space…

"When the time comes, love me…not because you take pity on me, love me because you have so many things to hate me for…"

Unit 01 roared as the wings sent it into a black hole, taking it to another place, possibly another time, a place yet to be dirtied by humans, a place yet to be tainted with blood…a place that has yet to be called home…

______________________________________________________

 I know the ending was kind of bad…-_-' but I gave it my best, I even made up that crap of a poem at the end.

Also many sorries for being late, I'm writing a lot of different things right now, and I promise I'll get to the point where I won't even need a pre-reader._

Remember, I plan on rewriting everything I wrote, so I might not be releasing that much new stuff. Hate me, my ending to this or anything else feel free to email me. 

And many thanks to that guy who signed me up for Free Asians.com…o.O, I'm just kidding but that first picture of that girl wasn't so bad (and she wasn't naked if that's what you are thinking…~_~)

Chibi Fenrir 


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